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If you want me to fall for you, give me something worth tripping over…

Candy the bulldog

Image via Wikipedia

Ye Gods, sack me now! I forgot a category in yesterday’s post. Let me introduce you to: 

Dick 007: Now, guys who fall into this category have – well, an unusual way of wooing women… I stumbled across the first one by accident, and boy! was I unprepared. Instead of uploading a picture of his face like the rest of us poor saddos, he chose instead, a photo of himself mid-coitus. A real zoomed-in, no-hair-follicle-left-to-the-imagination shot of himself doing the bizz with some fat chick  splendidly proportioned woman. At least I think it was a woman. It could actually have been a bulldog… 

In her position (pun intended) I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even want that particular print hanging around my house, but I’m absolutely certain I wouldn’t want it broadcast on the big ol’ World Wide Web. I mean, what was Dick 007 thinking? And what message was he sending out to us potential datees? I’d shag Les Dawson? 

Others in this category are more selective, preferring the er…more individual approach. Yep, that’s right – open up your inbox or Instant Messenger screen and up pops a purple pecker in all its morning-glory…

I mean, come on! We all know men are sexually aroused by pictures of naked women, but girls find full frontal male nudity about as appealing as a leg-wax. A close-up of Skippy and the twins? It’s not exactly a sunset over the sea now, is it?

Guys, there’s a time and a place for everything, and ‘Hello, here’s my todger’ really isn’t one of them.


About Tiny Temper

I'm a middle-aged freelance writer living in Cornwall. And no, it's not all sun, sand and steaming pasties. I've been married, done the divorce and accidentally shrunk the tee-shirt.

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