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Prince Charming’s arse…

Don't mess with my emoticons

Image by id-iom via Flickr

Only a quickie today as I’m not feeling well 😦  I should have known, when I crawled to bed at half-past eight on Friday night, that I was going to wake up to something unpleasant. And I did. A throat infection that feels like I’ve been chewing glass. And I’m all choked up with horrible green goo! If you’d like to know more, please mail me and I’ll fill you in on all the gruesome details.

Well, over here on WordPress we have this amazing little gizmo that tells us where reader traffic is coming from. It’s also rather revealing about the phrases people type into Google – the same phrases that search engines use to  direct readers to our blogs. That’s probably a clunky explanation, but I’m ill. Feel my pain.

Let’s see. There was arse, courtesy of our very own Gorilla Bananas. (He’s got a thing about bottoms, you see. The wobblier, the better, because he does enjoy a bit of a spank. Allegedly…)

And someone was searching for Prince Charming’s arse. Join the queue, my love. Join the queue.

I particularly like my arse. This one shows just how dependant society has become upon technology. Modern man or woman needs Google to find their own bottom. In my day we would’ve just looked in the mirror…

And then we had my first hot date. I’m not quite sure why that poor person was directed to my blog; I haven’t written about any hot dates because I haven’t bleedin’ had any! Well, not since the early 80’s.

Someone else was looking for penis photos. Good to see the system works; I’ve got hundreds of those pesky little peckers on file.

I saved the best ’til last. The funniest search engine term that people used to find my blog is….drum roll, please….big titted, small-arsed trollops  🙂

I didn’t know I was hosting a kinky porn site!

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About Tiny Temper

I'm a middle-aged freelance writer living in Cornwall. And no, it's not all sun, sand and steaming pasties. I've been married, done the divorce and accidentally shrunk the tee-shirt.

10 responses »

  1. I’m so sorry to hear you’re not well, Ms Temper. Please take comfort from the fact that this blog was easily the best one I found by searching for the word “arse”. I would treat your illness with antibiotics and an arse-massage.

    Reply
    • Why thank you, Mr B. I obviously have the best ‘arse’ on the internet 🙂 I’m feeling most miserable – just got to the shaky, shivery stage. These things always seem to happen at the weekend when you can’t get to a doctor. Or a vet. And a hairy pawed massage would be just what the doctor ordered 🙂

      Reply
  2. I can imagine the look of disappointment from the teenager who searched for “arse” and came up with your blog. Still at least we should give credit to said teenager for spelling “arse” correctly ? Then again, it was probably the auto-complete option within Google.

    You searched for “arze”, did you mean “arse”? Showing results for “arse” instead (you thick imbecile).

    Or perhaps this one…

    You searched for “arse”. Would you also like to see related results for “elbow” ?

    Hope you are feeling better anyways Ms T ? Let me know if you get that hairy prawn massage ?

    😉

    Reply
  3. Arse-massage….. Never been offered one of those before! I wonder if it is a Gorilla thing?

    Reply
  4. The arse isn’t half as good as what’s on the other side.

    Reply
    • Well, Mr Penis, I rather think that depends on the individual. I’ve seen some that really aren’t worth the effort…And bottoms are under-valued imo. Where would we be without the wonderfully squishy behinds? 😉
      PS Is this spam, or are you for real?

      Reply
  5. Are you suggesting I’m a fake penis? I’ll have you know that my todger is 100% meat with no bean curd or gristle.

    Reply
    • Just askin’! Forgive me for doubting you. It was the ‘penis’ nature of your name that made me suspicious, but hey! I’m on quite good terms with a gorilla called Bananas, why not add BP Penis to the friends’ list? Welcome. Hope you enjoy 🙂

      Reply

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