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Ten reasons why internet dating sucks…

   

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

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Goodness, where to start? I’ll try to be objective, not rant (too much) and avoid using potentially slanderous phrases such as ‘All men on dating sites are wankers’. I said I’d try, but I’m promising nothing..

Okay, this one’s for you, Max: 10 reasons why internet dating sucks…

  • It’s not private ~ Although your initial registration details remain confidential, the rest of your information – name, age, photo, hometown, hobbies and profile story – is all accessible to millions via the big ol’ World Wide Web. Yeah, I know there’s a clue in the title  Internet dating, but  still, you’d expect a degree of privacy. It’s a bit like being in the pub with your best mates. You knock back a double vodka and huddle in to whisper ‘I’ve got chlamydia’ only to find the music’s stopped, nobody’s chatting and you’ve just blasted your innermost thoughts to a bunch of perfect strangers.
    Not too embarrassing, then…
  •  It’s limiting ~ You’re restricting yourself to ‘meeting’ only those who spend time online. If this is your only form of dating, you’ll never get to meet all those other perfectly eligible men who wouldn’t be seen dead wearing someone else’s clothes on an online dating site. Honestly. Some people just don’t know how to live…
  • First impressions count ~ Suppose a user isn’t comfortable with the written word? Or doesn’t know how to put his personality across? Maybe someone’s dyslexic? Or has uploaded an unflattering photo. Perhaps he doesn’t actually resemble Shrek in daylight. You may dismiss someone perfectly thick nice because his punctuation isn’t up to scratch or his picture’s blurry.
  • Users tend to confuse dating with mating ~ Now, dating may well lead to mating – in fact we rather hope it will – and mating can, of course, occur without the dating, but the words DATING SITE should give users a hint – most of us are there to date, NOT shag ourselves senseless with a variety of strange men. And approaching a woman with ‘Yo! You’re hot! I’d like to rodger your brains out’ is NOT the way to ask for either!
  • It still carries a social stigma ~ Telling people you’re dating online is like announcing you’ve got leprosy. You’ll get all the usual comments – ‘God! You must be really desperate!‘ or ‘Only losers and psychos use those sites!‘ and my personal favourite, ‘Can’t you find a man the normal way, then?
  • You don’t know who you’re getting ~ It’s much easier to fabricate a persona and keep the pretence going online because you’re dealing only with the written word. All those telltale signs of dishonesty like avoidance of eye-contact are impossible to interpret over a computer screen so you have no way of knowing whether the other person is truthful or not.
  • It’s too rational ~ Falling in love isn’t logical. It’s not based on height or earning capacity, it happens through chemistry. Love is all about feelings and emotions. Dating site profiles deal with personal information. You’re choosing and rejecting potential mates by making rational decisions, whereas in real life, we choose partners by our emotional responses.

cat and dog

 

  • It’s a false reality ~ Online social interaction is quite different to face-to-face contact. Normal rules don’t seem to apply. If I make a comment to a stranger in a shop, chances are we’ll strike up a friendly conversation. Online I’ll probably be ignored. Worse still, my message could be ‘Unread and Deleted’. I might only be saying ‘Hey, great sense of humour!’ or something similarly banal and non-threatening, but that user has taken one look at my picture, barfed and deleted me! Not only is it downright rude, but it’s become the normal, expected way to behave.
  • It’s 2D ~ in a real life situation we use our Spidey senses to determine how we feel about someone. Our brain subconsciously assesses the other person’s appearance, body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, eye contact, mannerisms, personal smell etc. We can’t do this online. Instead we have to filter a limited amount of information through only one sense – our eyes. No wonder I keep ending up with dorks!
  • It’s full of todgers ~ Honest to God I’ve never seen so many peckers in my whole life! Fat ones, skinny ones, short ones, thick ones, bent ones, hairy ones, bald ones! It’s never right! If I met a guy in my local, he sure as hell wouldn’t whip out his todger before he’d even said ‘Hello’! Online it seems to be the new male form of flirting. God help us!

             Over to you – have I missed anything?

  
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About Tiny Temper

I'm a middle-aged freelance writer living in Cornwall. And no, it's not all sun, sand and steaming pasties. I've been married, done the divorce and accidentally shrunk the tee-shirt.

12 responses »

  1. You’re awesome Tiny! Couldn’t have stated it better myself (or been as diplomatic). You did leave out the wordless look of pity that you recieve when you tell someone you’re online dating. My favorite! 😉

    Reply
    • Thanks, it was a pig to do – it kept re-formatting itself for some reason. Had to re-write it three times! God, yes, that look of pity and the way they take a step backwards as if you’re contagious! 🙂 Let’s face it, we are the scum of the earth! 😉

      Reply
  2. OMG! I forgot about the step backwards! Apparently we’re carriers of some horrific loserish dating style ….. meh ….. 😉

    Reply
  3. Thanks Tiny! Well said, very accurate and just a tiny bit sad!

    Well done x

    Reply
    • Thank-you, Max. It is sad, really. I know a few people who have had positive experiences, but for the majority, well….x

      Reply
      • My mom and my twin sister both met their husbands online! (yes, my mother’s getting more action than me – yikes!) ….. sometimes I wonder how that happened ……. then I look at their husbands …… :-X

      • lol! Was watching Jeremy Kyle a few days ago (bit like Oprah but more shouty!). A woman our age was embarrassed about her mother’s behaviour – 62- year-old mom was sleeping around! I thought ‘God! I must be really ugly if she’s getting some and I’m not!’ 🙂

  4. Watching Jeremy…. You need to get out more Tiny! Xmas is on the way and people are usually happy and in a good mood, so get out there and good luck. Real men look out- Tiny is about!

    Reply
  5. Internet dating is really pathetic. You can’t get “instant gratification” when it comes to falling for someone. It’s the unknown that is so enticing. Honestly, all of my boyfriends in the past I met at work. We had common interests and shared the same experiences. Just clicking on a profile and meeting some random guy at Red Lobster is WEIRD. There is nothing innocent and about that mess. I’ll admit, while I was in college, I met some guys off of a dating site because I hadn’t met anyone in my classes yet. I must say that these men were often the cruelest kind of people and they all seemed to have a few screws loose. The entitlement was just insane to me. Really? You had to resort to a dating site stud, so drop your model-esque requirements. Just keep this in mind: they are on the dating site for good reason so beware!!

    Reply
    • I’m with you, sister! Those guys are weird 🙂 I’m sure there are normal stud muffins, but I guess they get snatched as soon as they post.
      Thanks for the comment 🙂

      Reply

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