Goodness, where to start? I’ll try to be objective, not rant (too much) and avoid using potentially slanderous phrases such as ‘All men on dating sites are wankers’. I said I’d try, but I’m promising nothing..
Okay, this one’s for you, Max: 10 reasons why internet dating sucks…
- It’s not private ~ Although your initial registration details remain confidential, the rest of your information – name, age, photo, hometown, hobbies and profile story – is all accessible to millions via the big ol’ World Wide Web. Yeah, I know there’s a clue in the title Internet dating, but still, you’d expect a degree of privacy. It’s a bit like being in the pub with your best mates. You knock back a double vodka and huddle in to whisper ‘I’ve got chlamydia’ only to find the music’s stopped, nobody’s chatting and you’ve just blasted your innermost thoughts to a bunch of perfect strangers.
Not too embarrassing, then…
- It’s limiting ~ You’re restricting yourself to ‘meeting’ only those who spend time online. If this is your only form of dating, you’ll never get to meet all those other perfectly eligible men who wouldn’t be seen dead wearing someone else’s clothes on an online dating site. Honestly. Some people just don’t know how to live…
- First impressions count ~ Suppose a user isn’t comfortable with the written word? Or doesn’t know how to put his personality across? Maybe someone’s dyslexic? Or has uploaded an unflattering photo. Perhaps he doesn’t actually resemble Shrek in daylight. You may dismiss someone perfectly
thicknice because his punctuation isn’t up to scratch or his picture’s blurry.
- Users tend to confuse dating with mating ~ Now, dating may well lead to mating – in fact we rather hope it will – and mating can, of course, occur without the dating, but the words DATING SITE should give users a hint – most of us are there to date, NOT shag ourselves senseless with a variety of strange men. And approaching a woman with ‘Yo! You’re hot! I’d like to rodger your brains out’ is NOT the way to ask for either!
- It still carries a social stigma ~ Telling people you’re dating online is like announcing you’ve got leprosy. You’ll get all the usual comments – ‘God! You must be really desperate!‘ or ‘Only losers and psychos use those sites!‘ and my personal favourite, ‘Can’t you find a man the normal way, then?‘
- You don’t know who you’re getting ~ It’s much easier to fabricate a persona and keep the pretence going online because you’re dealing only with the written word. All those telltale signs of dishonesty like avoidance of eye-contact are impossible to interpret over a computer screen so you have no way of knowing whether the other person is truthful or not.
- It’s too rational ~ Falling in love isn’t logical. It’s not based on height or earning capacity, it happens through chemistry. Love is all about feelings and emotions. Dating site profiles deal with personal information. You’re choosing and rejecting potential mates by making rational decisions, whereas in real life, we choose partners by our emotional responses.
- It’s a false reality ~ Online social interaction is quite different to face-to-face contact. Normal rules don’t seem to apply. If I make a comment to a stranger in a shop, chances are we’ll strike up a friendly conversation. Online I’ll probably be ignored. Worse still, my message could be ‘Unread and Deleted’. I might only be saying ‘Hey, great sense of humour!’ or something similarly banal and non-threatening, but that user has taken one look at my picture, barfed and deleted me! Not only is it downright rude, but it’s become the normal, expected way to behave.
- It’s 2D ~ in a real life situation we use our Spidey senses to determine how we feel about someone. Our brain subconsciously assesses the other person’s appearance, body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, eye contact, mannerisms, personal smell etc. We can’t do this online. Instead we have to filter a limited amount of information through only one sense – our eyes. No wonder I keep ending up with dorks!
- It’s full of todgers ~ Honest to God I’ve never seen so many peckers in my whole life! Fat ones, skinny ones, short ones, thick ones, bent ones, hairy ones, bald ones! It’s never right! If I met a guy in my local, he sure as hell wouldn’t whip out his todger before he’d even said ‘Hello’! Online it seems to be the new male form of flirting. God help us!
Over to you – have I missed anything?