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How not to behave on a date…

Thorim costume

Image via Wikipedia

It’s that season. Everyone’s looking for a jolly good rogering love, so I thought I’d devote a couple of posts to great date etiquette. We’ve just had Things You Really Shouldn’t Say On A Date, and today, for your titillation, here is How Not To Behave On A Date…

Don’t:

  • forget to shower
  • forget to wear clothes
  • turn up in fancy dress
  • arrive late
  • arrive on a camel
  • arrive with someone else
  • forget to arrive at all
  • get yourself arrested
  • do a strip at the dinner table
  • ask to meet his parents
  • use baby talk
  • cut up his food
  • wind him
  • ask if he needs a wee wee
  • talk to your food
  • pretend your food talks back

Only follow these simple guidelines if you’re serious about dating. If you’re only going out because there’s naff all on TV, then have some real fun and DO all of the above. Not sure where you’d find the camel though….        😉

 

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About Tiny Temper

I'm a middle-aged freelance writer living in Cornwall. And no, it's not all sun, sand and steaming pasties. I've been married, done the divorce and accidentally shrunk the tee-shirt.

8 responses »

  1. Don’t forget these additional perennial guidelines…

    Don’t

    Turn up with your skirt tucked into your knickers

    Talk about how being on a period turns you into a raging monster

    Scratch your nether regions, then smell your fingers

    Talk about making another appointment at “the clinic”, then say “I must get some natural yoghurt on the way home” !

    x

    Reply
  2. They could probably find a Llama with ease or an Alpaca as plenty of people are quite keen on keeping them as pets or in the case of Alpaca – for wool.

    Reply
  3. ah shit Tiny, NOW you tell me ….. *sigh* no wonder it’s been such a long year 😉

    Reply
  4. Do you think the zoo will loan me a camel for date night with the husband?

    Reply

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