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Aaaand…the Next Installment!

Jason-Statham

Image via Wikipedia

On Tuesday the Knackered Car had a new fuel pump, fuel filter and fuel-hose-connection-thingy. Not sure why; there was no bloody fuel left!

The Ex drove it to my house again and asked for a lift back to the garage.

Are we experiencing deja vu? I think so.

Are you absolutely certain it’s been fixed?’ I asked.

Yes.’

‘Are you absolutely certain it’s not still pissing petrol?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you absolutely certain it’s safe to drive?’

‘Yes!’

‘But what if you’re wrong? What if you only think you’re certain it’s been fixed? What if I drive you back and the Knackered Car is still leaking fuel and it catches fire and explodes in this huge, spectacular, Jason Statham-style fireball? We’ll both die a grisly death and the boys will be orphans! I can’t do it! Don’t ask me! Who’d look after Youngest son if we’re both flambéed?’

‘Eldest son. He’s legally an adult now.’

‘Yes!’ I shrieked, ‘but he’s four hours away! And it’d take another ten hours to hunt down which pub he’s in! And Youngest son needs feeding! Tonight!’

‘Mum, it’s fine,’ said Youngest. ‘I’ll just eat noodles ’til he gets here.’

Well that’s okay, then…

The Ex and I set off down the garden path. Youngest called a farewell greeting from the door:

‘Die, Mum and Dad! Whoops! I meant to say Bye…’

We made it there and back without frying. You probably guessed that much since I’m obviously here and typing… I parked away from our house and other parked vehicles just in case Knackered Car decided to spontaneously combust during the night.

And yesterday, on Wednesday, I leapt inside, armed with Bon Jovi’s Greatest Hits, ready to collect Youngest from after-school-art-club and…

…the bastard thing wouldn’t start!

I give up, really!

PS And yes, it was just a sad excuse for another photo of JS!  😉

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About Tiny Temper

I'm a middle-aged freelance writer living in Cornwall. And no, it's not all sun, sand and steaming pasties. I've been married, done the divorce and accidentally shrunk the tee-shirt.

15 responses »

  1. Photos of JS are always welcome XD

    Maybe you need to try talking to your car in order to coax it into working?

    Reply
  2. So this isn’t one of those American Beauty style posts then, where you write it from beyond the grave? I am relieved.

    Reply
    • I may be hanging on by a fingernail, Mr L, but I’ve not crossed over to the other side, yet!

      How are you and Mrs L?

      Reply
      • We’re very well, thank you. Haven’t seen you for a while, you simply *must* pop up soon. We could have cheese and port (Read ‘Babybel and cheap rose).

      • You’re right; I must pop over! Just need to get my arse into gear. So disorganised at the moment. Waiting for the spring to come – all I want to do this time of year is sleep! Give my love to Mrs L.

        I’d be happy with a strong cup of tea – am so easily pleased!

  3. Um, I think the service guys are pulling your pud. They’re going to replace the starter and then do something to cause the car not to brake or something causing your to get the car back to them and then replace your brakes and/or master cylinder for something like $450 (not sure what that translates to in poundage) or more. Be careful.

    How old is the car?

    Don’t you love youngin’s……so concerned…..”Die Mum and Dad”? I can’t wait til mine have kids. Point and laugh.

    Reply
    • That’s why I always ask the Ex to do the garage runs. One thing’s for sure – I won’t be paying the bill for a while!

      And wow! You know loads about cars. *Impressed*

      I have no idea how old the car is, but it is green 🙂 I’ve had older rustbuckets!

      When I told my Eldest about the leaking petrol, he was shocked. ‘Mum! You could’ve died today!’ ‘I know! How frightening!’ (I was playing for attention 🙂 ) ‘I must stop making sick comments to my friends!’ ‘Why, son?’ ‘Well,’ he said, ‘you know how I like winding people up? I told a load of people today that my Mum was dead!’

      Who needs enemies when you’ve got kids like mine?!!

      And I can’t wait til I’m really old. I am soo paying those boys back. I’m gonna take it in turns to ring them in the middle of the night and say, ‘Son, help your mother. I just wet the bed!’ 🙂

      Reply
  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention Aaaand…the Next Installment! « Prince Charming, my arse! -- Topsy.com

  5. Give up on cars, Ms Temper! A woman of your pedigree should be carried hither and thither in a sedan. If you were in the jungle, we would toss you from gorilla to gorilla. No extra charge for the flush on your cheeks.

    Reply
    • You’re so right, Mr B! I shouldn’t be left at the mercy of breakdown recovery guys and garge mechanics!

      And just thinking of tossing gorillas has brought a flush to my cheeks 🙂

      Reply
  6. LMAO, classic, your kids sound just like mine (and he’s adopted, so I really have no bloody excuse as to why I still tolerate him….)

    Reply
  7. I’m sorry, did you say something? I was too engrossed in the picture of Jason Statham to pay attention. He is so damn hot.

    Ugggg, all that car stuff is getting to be so annoying. Much less getting to play with the ex. No matter how well you get along. I had to laugh about your son saying that your youngest is an adult. I’m not a mom but I think your kids will always be “babies” in your eyes.

    Reply
    • Mmmmm… Jason Statham… *eyes glaze over*

      The car story is ridiculous – still not on the road! Been three weeks! Arrrggghhhh!

      And you’re right, my boys will always be my babies! Even if they’re both so tall now, I have to rest my head on their shoulders when I give ’em a hug! 🙂

      Reply

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