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Random thought for the day…

saggy man tights

Image by spikeyhelen via Flickr

Why are woolly tights so short in the leg?

I love wearing them with long skirts and boots at this time of year, but spend most of the day hiking the crotch back up from knee level! Why is that? I know I’ve got a huge arse, but my legs are tiny (in length, at least…) Why is there not enough wooly stuff to cover my bits?

More to the point, why is that hairy-legged bloke in the picture wearing tights? I mean Euww!

And it’s a nightmare when I’m out doing the shopping or walking the dog. You just can’t go rearranging yourself like that in public – if you wanna stay out of prison, that is… And by the time I’m nearing home, I’m waddling like I’ve had a nasty bout of diarrhoea in my nappy. It’s not nice, really.

And please don’t suggest I wear knickers over my tights. Tried that. They just end upย wound aroundย my knees as well!

Anyone else have this problem?


About Tiny Temper

I'm a middle-aged freelance writer living in Cornwall. And no, it's not all sun, sand and steaming pasties. I've been married, done the divorce and accidentally shrunk the tee-shirt.

10 responses »

  1. Ummm, can’t say I do Sara. I rarely wear tights or pantyhose. And when I do, I can usually pull them up to my boobs, opposite your problem. So, I’m switching to stockings with a garter from now on. I haven’t had a need to wear any dresses, so I haven’t had to purchase such garments, but that’s what my next plan is.

    If you’re wearing long skirts, just purchase trouser socks or stockings (not sure what they would call them in your parts). They’re stockings that just go up to your knees. That’s what I wear with my jeans if I’m getting “dressier”.

    • Pop socks! That’s what we call ’em over here! But I’d still be cold ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I’m a pussy when it comes to being cold! P’raps I need to invest in some thermal long-johns. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Try going commando, Ms Temper. You know it makes sense!

  3. Grey Goose, Dirty

    suspenders? i always err on buying them too big then I have the opposite issue of having them bunch up around my knees (they look like shar peis) ๐Ÿ™‚

    I have no shame, though. I’ll just hike those suckers up!

    • It’s tough being a woman! All these hardships!

      Good on ya for hiking up those suckers! You’re right, of course. Far less embarrassing than letting ’em drag around your knees! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Might I suggest a lovely pair of suspenders? You could start a trend. Just clip them to the waistband of our woolies and then over your shirt. I think you could carry it off. Granted your boys wouldn’t want to be seen in public with you, so that could be a plus or a minus.

    • Ooh! You’re a genius! We call ’em braces here, and usually, they’re only worn by really old men, but hey! You’re right! I’ll buy some and start a trend ๐Ÿ™‚

      And my kids never want to seen out with me in public ๐Ÿ˜ฆ They say I’m way too embarrassing, always chatting to people and flirting with young men! Once, they were bickering as we walked through town, so I threw myself on the pavement and had a mock tantrum! Boy! were they embarrassed! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Wear leggings with your skirts. That’s what I do when I’m out in my mini-denim skirt.


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