It doesn’t have quite the same ring as Shakespeare, but still. Never mind. I tried.
Two weeks ago I was given a Stylish Blogger Award by the beautiful, talented Bernie from One Mixed Bag. She’s a sweetie. Even if she was given three awards in one weekend. Not that I’m jealous, of course. She’s obviously more popular than I am. And she has an Easyfeet. And an apron rack.
But that’s fine. I’m not one to hold a grudge. Much.
Nah! Only joking! 🙂 If you haven’t checked out Bernie’s blog – do it now! She’s really funny and does mad things, like going to McDonald’s for Valentine’s Day with her hubby Mr B, and laying up one of their tables with a cloth and plates and a vase of flowers!
I sooo wanna go out with them for the evening and pretend to be Mr B’s cuckolded wife, or his new pregnant mistress! Oh, the fun we could have 🙂
Anyway, thanks, honey! I was honoured to be chosen – there were some really stylish blogs in her list, but with the last couple of weeks stressing about the Old Knackered Car (still off the road!) and lapsing into comas and possible death, I’ve been sloppy about officially collecting, and passing this award on.
So, without further ado, let’s do this thing!
Taaa-daaaa! Drum-roll please…
How cool is that?! *Grins like the Cheshire Cat*
As part of my official duties, I am asked to share seven things about myself. Eek!
I say ‘Eek!’ because I’m presuming they have to be interesting things… Oh well, here goes:
I have two major phobias – vomit and snakes. I seriously can’t stand being around people if they’re puking; I get all panicky and start having palpitations. When I was little I pretended to be ill so I wouldn’t have to go on school trips because someone was always sick on the bus. And if I was forced to go, I’d spend the whole journey anxiously watching all the other kids’ faces for signs of travel sickness. As soon as someone went pale, I’d be yelling, ‘Sir! Sir! David’s not feeling well! Stop the bus! He’s gonna be sick! Oh God! Sir! Stop the bus! Get him offffffff!’
And snakes, well – eeuuuwww! It’s funny ‘cos I’ve had a Boa Constrictor draped around my neck, but freak if I see a slow-worm in the garden. Just to recap: I’m fine with the big, thick ones, just can’t cope with the skinny ones flapping all over the place! 🙂
I once fell asleep against Feargal Sharkey (lead singer of The Undertones) in a nightclub in London. I wasn’t with him or anything; he was just sitting next to me at the bar, and I was tired, so I just kind of slumped and had a snooze. He was very good about it, hardly complained at all about the wet dribble I’d left on his sleeve…
Cliff Richard had a house at the bottom of my garden. In my fantasy world, when I was small. I don’t know why exactly, but I used to pretend that he lived there. At the bottom of my garden. Right behind the apple tree… And we used to play TV presenting together – mainly cookery programmes that involved mixing loads of water with mud. Don’t keep asking! I said already ‘I just don’t know, okay!’
I was so nervous on my first driving test, I was incapable of counting the exits off a roundabout. Three minutes into the exam and I landed us in the middle of a British Telecom car park. The whole place was stacked with engineers in huge vans, all beeping furiously and trying to reverse around me!
And no, I didn’t pass…
Cider once saved my life. Seriously! A bunch of us students decided it would be a great idea to steal a boat from a nearby private school and take it out for a jolly in the uni’s outdoor swimming pool. It was 3am. In February. And I couldn’t swim. You know the rest of the story – there I was, going up and down in the water, drowning, and waving to the shore for help. The stupid bastards just waved back! Luckily I was still clutching a plastic 2 litre bottle which kept me resurfacing in the water! Without cider, I’d be dead!
I can see ghosts. My left foot always buzzes if there’s a spirit around, and sometimes I’m able to chat with them! You weren’t expecting that, now, were you?!
I almost gave birth to my Youngest son on a bathroom floor. Hubby and I had arrived at the hospital just as my contractions stopped. The Midwife sent him home and packed me off to have a bath. There I was, wallowing around nicely when the contractions started up again – with a vengeance. The emergency pull switch was over the other side of the room! I was trapped in that bloody bath for nearly four hours calling for help! Eventually I heaved myself out and Youngest could wait no longer! I had to crawl/shuffle out of the bathroom on two knees and one hand all the way up the corridor to the nurses’ station – the other hand was stopping baby’s head from dragging along the floor. Of course, I was butt naked and dripping wet – good job it was the middle of the night and not during daytime visiting hours!
Good grief! My life is a Carry On film! I’m going for a lie down. Will be back later to award the awards 🙂