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Unrelated Jason Statham photo. What? I need cheering up!

Jason Statham

I have lots of  ‘blonde’ moments and quite a few ‘incredibly dense’ ones, but I’m not completely stupid. For Doc2 appointment, I’d done my homework and rehearsed a non-confrontational, yet mature and assertive speech, stating all the reasons – quite calmly – why I would like a specialist referral: ‘ Don’t let me die! It’s been so long since I bonked, I’ve reverted to being a virgin! Pleeeeeease! Don’t let me die a born-again-virgin!’

What? I was stressed.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Before I’d even plonked my weighty arse upon the chair, Doc2 slid a piece of paper towards me: ‘I’ve printed out the results of your blood test showing that you don’t have Addison’s.’

Great. Fan-fuckin’-tastic. Now I knew what Doc1 and Doc2 had been discussing over their pre-surgery morning coffee. Well, bring it on!

Tiny: ‘Umm… Who interprets these results? It says at the bottom of the sheet ‘Normal synacthen response’. Who actually made that diagnosis?’

Doc2: ‘Someone at the hospital lab. They are trained, you know!’

Tiny: ‘And roughly how many of these synacthen tests do they process a year, do you think?’

Doc2: ‘Not many. It’s a rare condition. Maybe a handful?’

Tiny: ‘So, nobody specialised in this rare condition has looked at these results?’

Doc2: ‘Well, no.’

Ha! Gotcha!

Tiny: ‘You see, I’ve been in touch with an Addison’s specialist over the weekend, and he says, effectively I failed the test because my cortisol levels didn’t double, and that shows the adrenal glands aren’t working sufficiently well. He says I need to see an endocrinologist for further testing. And I’ve printed out some stuff I found on the web, supporting this view.’  *Tiny slaps a  wad of papers on the desk*

Doc2: ‘Hmm… Well, I don’t know how authentic these reports are. Did you use reputable sites?’

Tiny: ‘Yes. One has come from the official NHS website. And this guy is a leading expert in his field. And this bloke here runs – ‘

Doc2: ‘So, you’d feel happier if I referred you to an endocrinologist?’

Tiny: *squeaks* ‘Yes. Please.’

Doc2: ‘Okay, but in the meantime, I’d like to check out some other possibilities. I want you to see a gynaecologist for a biopsy.’

Tiny: ‘A biopsy? I just had an ultrasound scan and an internal, why would I need –  Oh. I see.’

So, think of me on Monday, having my bits hacked at, because Doc2 would like to rule cervical cancer out of the frame.

But, on the bright side, at least I now have a copy of my synacthen test, stating my response was Normal. So, kids, if I die in the meantime, it’s in the cabinet under my desk, filed under S for Sue the bastards for every fucking penny you can get!


About Tiny Temper

I'm a middle-aged freelance writer living in Cornwall. And no, it's not all sun, sand and steaming pasties. I've been married, done the divorce and accidentally shrunk the tee-shirt.

12 responses »

  1. 😦 I really, really hope this turns out to be nothing as bad as cervical cancer.

    • Thank you, sweetie! I’m sure it’s not. I think the menstrual probs are a symptom of the adrenal problem, rather than the problem itself. Still, best to get it all checked out. I love being a woman.

  2. Good on you for challenging the doctors. I had a similar experience before I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid, with depression being blamed for that. One blood test later and I’m on medication and finally able to get back up again.

    I hope they manage to find and confirm the cause for you. Keep us posted, even if you *must* use Statham as a photograph.

    • Doesn’t it drive you demented? I’m sleeping sixteen hours a day, my book’s been neglected, I’m barely keeping on top of food and washing; I don’t have the energy for all this fighting, but what choice do I have?

      I asked about thyroid, but apparently, it’s ‘fine’. I’m sure it’s adrenal gland related, but until I can get to an endo, I just have to struggle.

      Thanks, Terry, and sorry about JS, but a girl’s gotta have something lush in her life 😉

  3. I’m glad you’re finally going to specialist.

    I guess it’s best to cover all bases with this biopsy. I think it’s a tad invasive at this point, but I’m not a dr.

    I’d get a second opinion on the thyroid.

    • I’m not sure about the biopsy either, but I can’t complain; at least my bits are getting some kind of action 😉

      I’m certain it’ll be cleared up by the endo; I can feel it in my waters 😉

  4. They couldn’t diagnose an elephant with a rabbit up its arse.

  5. OMG! Before we get to the important stuff, Jason!! I think I piddled a little with excitement when I opened your page. Thanks for that.

    Glad you stuck to your guns. Oh, another violation, lay back and think of England. I agree about it being a good thing for you to rule out everything. I’m so glad the Dr. finally listened. Perhaps now they can get to the bottom of this.

    Jason needs me. He just doesn’t know it yet.

    • *Swoon* He’s just all man…

      Yeah, best to get it all checked out… S’pose I’ll have to shave my legs tonight then *sigh*

      Jason needs us both, Bernie. A hot-blooded girl on both continents! 🙂

  6. Grey Goose, Dirty

    So glad you finally got a referral to a specialist. Sucks that you had to fight so hard to get one though. 😦

    As far as the ‘action’ that your bits and pieces will be getting on Monday, er, that’s not really what I had in mind ….. 😉 Maybe you could have them polish things up down there while they’re at it so you’ll be all shiny and new should you run into a totally cute and totally randy (listen to me, I’m english!) 😉 doctor, patient, nurse, mailman, random person on the street….

    I’m sure all will go well on Monday, my friend. I promise to personally fly over there and kick some doctor ass if you need me to …..


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