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Good Grief, NO!

via Flickr”]The legendary Hotel Des Indes, A Luxury Collec...

I adore my neighbours. They’re all pensioners and each have some kind of disability; there’s the Mr and Mrs – I’ll call them George and Mildred after a famous TV couple – and Penny who is Mildred’s sister. I try to help out, wherever I can, and this weekend I painted George and Mildred’s bedroom.

I’d promised to do some furniture re-arranging today after their new wardrobe had been installed. I turned up just after the delivery guys.

”Ere! Mind you don’t go scuffing up my new walls with all those boxes,’ I said, with a wink. ‘I only just decorated in here, you know!’

‘We’ll do our best, love, but I’m sure we’d do better after a cup of tea and a Kit-Kat!’

Cheeky buggers!

Mildred made us all a cuppa, and after about half an hour Mr-Tea-and-Kit-Kat Guy called down for us to go and admire their handiwork. The new wardrobe looked to be blocking the TV that was mounted on the wall, so I climbed on Mildred’s half of the bed, laid down and asked The Other Bloke to slide the television along the bracket a bit.

‘Perfect!’ I said with a smile and a snuggle. ‘Now all I need is a coffee and the remote!’
‘That’s the side you sleep on then, love?’ asked Kit-Kat Guy. 

I must’ve pulled a proper WTF-are-you-on-about-face, ‘cos his expression changed from deadpan to embarrassed to absolutely mortified. And then I was absolutely mortified!

‘No!’ I squeaked! ‘I don’t… We don’t… God, no!’

I adore my neighbour, but not like that!


About Tiny Temper

I'm a middle-aged freelance writer living in Cornwall. And no, it's not all sun, sand and steaming pasties. I've been married, done the divorce and accidentally shrunk the tee-shirt.

10 responses »

  1. *howling* See I took it to mean he was storing it for his future reference. Thinking about what side of the bed he sleeps in and would you be compatable.
    Not thinking that you were involved with your neighbors. *lol*

    You go girl! Painting for the old folks. You never cease to amaze me.

    • I’m never lost for words, but this time I was speechless! I just kept squeaking! I should’ve said, ‘Nah, I sleep in the middle between the Mr and the Mrs!’

      It’s a pleasure, they’re such a lovely family!

  2. OMF! This is hilarious!!! Should have said, “I sleep in the middle,” with a little wink.

  3. Grey Goose, Dirty

    You are an awesome neighbor (and person in general). Now if only you could stop squeeking at cute delivery men, police officers & construction workers! Maybe we should send you some flashcards to keep on hand for when you get all twitterpated. 😉


  4. I thought I commented on this.

    Like, “did you get his fucking name?”

    I like the flashcard idea. Or just walk around with a sticky note “Hi, my name is Sara, what’s yours?” OMG, how hilarious would that be???

    • oh, Irene, did you want me to get his name? You should’ve said… 😉

      I def think a flashcards/sticky notes for successful dating post is coming up! Start thinking up some one-liners for me! 🙂


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