I adore my neighbours. They’re all pensioners and each have some kind of disability; there’s the Mr and Mrs – I’ll call them George and Mildred after a famous TV couple – and Penny who is Mildred’s sister. I try to help out, wherever I can, and this weekend I painted George and Mildred’s bedroom.
I’d promised to do some furniture re-arranging today after their new wardrobe had been installed. I turned up just after the delivery guys.
”Ere! Mind you don’t go scuffing up my new walls with all those boxes,’ I said, with a wink. ‘I only just decorated in here, you know!’
‘We’ll do our best, love, but I’m sure we’d do better after a cup of tea and a Kit-Kat!’
Mildred made us all a cuppa, and after about half an hour Mr-Tea-and-Kit-Kat Guy called down for us to go and admire their handiwork. The new wardrobe looked to be blocking the TV that was mounted on the wall, so I climbed on Mildred’s half of the bed, laid down and asked The Other Bloke to slide the television along the bracket a bit.
‘Perfect!’ I said with a smile and a snuggle. ‘Now all I need is a coffee and the remote!’
‘That’s the side you sleep on then, love?’ asked Kit-Kat Guy.
I must’ve pulled a proper WTF-are-you-on-about-face, ‘cos his expression changed from deadpan to embarrassed to absolutely mortified. And then I was absolutely mortified!
‘No!’ I squeaked! ‘I don’t… We don’t… God, no!’
I adore my neighbour, but not like that!