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The Good, the Bad and the Metrosexual…

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Good news: I’m still alive! Bad news: it’s been so long since I posted, I’ve forgotten how to write.

Thank-you all so much for your messages and comments. I hope to be back in action soon…

Latest test results all came back clear which is great because it means I don’t have tumours, diabetes or any of the other stuff that they were testing for. I’m not menopausal or vitamin B12 deficient, and I don’t have thyroid problems.

Trouble is: I’m no closer to a bleedin’ answer, and in some respects, I’m getting worse. I have to rest in between changing a double duvet cover. I can’t lift a 3 kilo bag of dog food. Last Friday night I slept for 18 hours out of 24 and then spent the rest of Saturday slobbing on the sofa because I literally couldn’t get up without the world spinning. And I seem to have developed an unhealthy obsession with Robert Pattinson.

Actor Robert Pattinson after the Twilight Saga...

Image via Wikipedia

 As you know, I like my fantasy men mean and meaty, not lean, clean and metrosexual, so I’m quite worried about this new symptom. Perhaps my brain has atrophied from lack of use. Or maybe it’s because I’m definitely not menopausal, maybe my unwithered eggs are screaming for last-chance impregnation and have fixated upon the young male of the species. I suspect it has more to do with the fact that, while prostrate on the sofa, I read the whole of Water for Elephants – in between snoozing, of course – and Master Pattinson adorns the front cover. In my poorly state, I seem to have got him confused with, well, a romantic hero. Scary.

I adore this book; it’s a beautiful love story set in a 1930’s circus. I could explain the plot, but I have Durr-brain, so I’ll make this easy and probably more entertaining:


So where do I go from here? Apart from re-reading the old Twilight series, of course. Don’t judge me; I really can’t help these perfectly normal teenage obsessions, you know. In fact it’s not really an obsession at all until I start following him on Twitter, or plastering his juvenile mug across my pink bedroom walls. But where was I? Oh yeah, medical stuff. My GP has now decided that I have to wait a month for all medication to leave my system and then try another anti-depressant before she’ll refer me to a Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME clinic or whatever the hell it’s called this week.

I replied with a few choice sweary words and just thought Fuck it! I give up!  I’m wasting the bit of energy I have got, fighting doctors and it’s pointless. I may well not have Chronic Fatigue, but I certainly do have chronic fatigue, so I ordered a book, written by a CFS sufferer who also happens to be a GP.  And today it arrived, and there on page 96, it says CFS should never really be mistaken for depression because of the basic clinical differences between the two. And it lists ’em all! Yep! all the points I’ve been arguing since bloody September!

Hahaha! The bitch will be mine!


About Tiny Temper

I'm a middle-aged freelance writer living in Cornwall. And no, it's not all sun, sand and steaming pasties. I've been married, done the divorce and accidentally shrunk the tee-shirt.

20 responses »

  1. Tiny! Good to see that your still alive and kicking, but girl….really? R-Patz?!?!?!? I agree that this is a worrisome symptom and should be diagnosed immediately! Wishing you the best. Muah!

  2. Grey Goose, Dirty

    Tiny! I’ve missed you!! Glad to hear you’re still alive but very very concerned regarding this new symptom. Ewwwww. Really?

    • I’ve missed you too! How’s the dating going? Yeah, I’m kinda embarrassed about the whole R-Patz thing… I’m sure it’ll soon wear off. I probably just need a good shag 😀

  3. I am so happy your back!!!
    Never never leave again!
    And I have the same obsession as you.
    I love Twilight!!!

  4. Go get her! Why do thee idiots have to always be right – even when they’re wrong?!

    Oh, and I’d definitely mention the metrosexual obsession to the Dr. I mean, this sounds like one of those symptoms that should be written in red, capital letters and circled a bunch on your chart! 😉

  5. I am so glad you were in my in box this evening!! WElCOME back!! 🙂 I know you probably have had a million people ask “have you asked the Dr. ____? So what the hell, I will be one million and one. I have a close friend (Jen that Bernie writes about) and she has had 2 kidneys transplanted and when her Creatinine levels are out of whack all she has the strength to do is get up to go to the bathroom. She is on shots for it now and that has helped a lot, she still naps but can actually get out of the house now. Just a thought and if the Dr.s haven’t checked it then its a simple test. Hope you are feeling much better soon!!!!

    • Oh thank-you! I did have that test – can’t spell it! – kidney and liver functions both came back clear, but I appreciate you thinking of me. Poor Jen – what an experience – two transplants! Wow! What a girl – give her my love 🙂

  6. Tiny,
    Glad you are back! 🙂 We missed you.
    Looooooooved “Water for Elephants!” Fab. xxxx

  7. I’m so glad you were up to posting. You have been in my thoughts. Are you going to show your Dr. the book about CFS? I think you should! I hope something gives somewhere!
    I loved Water for Elephants, the book that is. I have not seen the movie. I didn’t want to read that book due to all the great hype it got. I finally dove in and couldn’t put it down!

    • Thank-you so much, honey. I have been flagging, but I will get to the bottom of it – even if I get banned from my doctor’s in the meantime!
      I was the same with the book – I avoided it especially because of the hype and then my curiosity got the better of me – so glad; I’d like to read more of her stuff *hugs

  8. I don’t think it’s unhealthy. It’s a good healthy distraction. Dream on girlfriend, dream on. Lord knows I do enough of that with YOU-KNOW-WHO!

    • Bless you (in a non-religious kind of way 😉 ) You’re dead right – it was an escapism sort of thing ‘cos I felt so lousy, I think. No one got hurt, so no problem. My street cred was always crap, so no harm done there, either! 🙂 *hugs*

  9. I’m only going to worry if you start liking the Bieberbot:


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