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Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun #7

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Yay! It’s Friday and time to link up with Hilary from Feeling Beachie and her co-host Kipp from Kipps Version  for our weekly Friday Fill-In Fun!

Each week Hilary posts four statements with blanks for us to fill in our answers. I’m also going to attempt to add the linky. But just remember I’m techno-crap; I’m accepting no responsibility if you press the button and end up hotporn.com.

If you want to join in –  and why wouldn’t you? – please follow both hosts and add your name to the porn site linky. Also, visit Hilary if you’d like to submit two statements to be added to the next hop!

1. My favourite kitchen secret is disabling the smoke alarm. That way I can flambé in peace and it doesn’t disturb the neighbours. Or the neighbourhood dogs. My second secret is strategically placed scented candles or particularly potent joss sticks. This helps mask the stench of burnt flesh create a beautiful, calm cooking ambience.      

 

Joss sticks, Jade Buddha Temple, Shanghai

Image via Wikipedia

 

 2. Raspberry meringue is my favourite flavour of ice-cream.Yum! ADSA do a wonderful version – it’s creamy with crunchy meringue pieces and oodles of raspberry sauce.      

 

raspberry ice cream 2

Image by chotda via Flickr

3. My favourite pair of jeans finally wore out! I was gutted; those jeans were awesome – stretchy, soft and shaped. (I always wear bootleg jeans; the flare at the bottom of my legs helps balance the size of my arse. I look more hour-glass than butternut-squash shaped.) They came from New Look, fitted me perfectly and were just so comfy. When they wore through on the knee, I pretended it was trendy. When they wore just just under my right butt cheek, I patched them with bright pink material. I wore them like this for about a two years ’til the denim became as thin as tissue paper and the strain of my mammoth-sized arse proved just too much for the patch. Jeans, I’ll always love you…

Love Jeans

Image by madhavaji via Flickr

 

 4. If only I could have just one more boink. I’m at a sexual peak, for God’s sake – that stage just before the menopause when a woman’s hormones scream, ‘Boink me! Boink me, now! Before it’s too late! Before my body withers and wrinkles and I start smelling like moth balls and cat wee! Is it too much to ask for? Just one more wild, abandoned, hot and sweaty session of screaming animal sex?!
Oh, Jason, where are you when I need you?
   

Jason-Statham

Image via Wikipedia

 
Okay, hold your breath – I’m going for the linky…

Okay, having problems with the linky… Hmm… Watch this space; I WILL NOT be defeated!

Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun #6

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Yay! It’s Friday again! I’ve had such a busy week decorating for my neighbours and messing up my blog, I’ve hardly had time to post! And it’s Eldest Son’s 19th birthday today. Hurrah! Happy Birthday, Nigel Penisworthy! Poor kid’s an April Fools’ Baby!

Each Friday Hilary from Feeling Beachy posts four statements with blanks. We fill-in the blanks on our blogs, link-up and go read other people’s answers. Got that? Good!

1. If I don’t guzzle at least four cups of hot, strong tea  in the morning, my day feels off. My routine: Get up, stumble down the stairs, put kettle on, smoke, make tea, shout at Youngest to get his arse out of bed, drink tea, cobble together a packed lunch, shout louder at Youngest to get his arse out of bed, make more tea, throw breakfast at Youngest, drink more tea, smoke, make more tea, drink more tea, argue with Youngest about the importance of education, make more tea, remind Youngest that attending school is a legal requirement, drink more tea, cringe when Youngest slams front door on his way out, make more tea, check Facebook, drink more tea, open eyes.   

Towering Mugs

Image via Wikipedia

 

2. When someone walks into my house for the first time, they usually say, ‘Wow! You’ve got so many books! It’s like a library in here!’ And the second comment is, ‘Have you really read all of these?’ Yep! Several times over. I love, love, love reading anything except sci-fi; I really can’t suspend my disbelief long enough to keep me reading. I’ve got chick-lit, romance, thrillers, classics, poetry, horror, supernatural, adventure and even – shock horror! – a certain vampire series…

One of the stores aimed at fans of the Twiligh...

Image via Wikipedia

3. Every time I see the movie My Sister’s KeeperI cry like a baby! That poor, brave girl, fighting leukaemia, and the sister who’s constantly given blood and bone marrow, and Mum, who’s so desperate to keep her daughter alive that she can’t see anything else! It’s tragic! I howl whenever I watch it!   

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 4. My feet feel best when they’re all warm and snuggly in cosy, woolly socks and Eeyore slippers. I’m an old lady; I choose comfort every time! 

 

Head on over to Beachie’s to join in the fun!

 Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun

Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun #4 On Saturday…

Yay! It’s Friday and time for Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun Blog-Hop! Try saying that after a pint of vodka.

Each week Hilary on Feeling Beachie posts four statements for us to fill in the blanks on our blogs. This week Bernie is co-hosting because she provided the last two sentences. Feel free to hop on over to Hilary’s or Bernie’s and join in the fun by adding your link and filling-in those blanks!

1. I can’t help it, but whenever I see oldies holding hands, I smile. I’m incredibly cynical, yet wildly romantic – go figure! Love that transcends the smooth skin and pert wobbly bits of youth is just wonderful, and I adore seeing oldies hand-holding or cuddling in public. It’s just so, Wow! There’s hope for me, yet!  

Old couple holding hands, Arad, Romania

Image by Royston Rascals via Flickr

2. Every time I smell pipe smoke I’m immediately transported back to my childhood. It’s not a common smell these days, but occasionally I’ll catch a whiff and suddenly, I’m seven again, sitting with my dad while he puffed away on his pipe.

Pipe Rack

Image via Wikipedia

Oh, and mothballs! They take me right back to my Gran’s wardrobe where she hoarded fur coats and wraps. I spent days in that damned smelly cupboard, convinced I’d found Narnia! 🙂

First edition

Image via Wikipedia

 

3. When I was little I wanted to be a TV cooking show presenter. Lol at me ‘cos my cooking’s atrocious! I spent half my childhood (when I wasn’t busy looking for a non-existent, magical land) in the garden, mixing up pots of mud and leaves, adding coffee and practising camera poses. And I can’t believe I’ve just admitted that in public!

Cooking disaster #1

Image by photos_martha via Flickr

 

4. If I had to eat one meal for the rest of my life it would be a roast chicken dinner. Oh yum! Roast potatoes – crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside – oodles of moist meat, stuffing balls, Yorkshire pudding, roast carrots, parsnips and sweet potatoes, crisp brocoli and lashings of gravy. And now I’m dribbling on the keyboard.

Roast beef with Yorkshire puddings, roast pota...

Image via Wikipedia

(Yeah, I know it’s roast beef in the photo, but it was the yummiest picture I could find!)

Now get yer butts over to Beachie’s or Bernie’s and join the hop! PS Apologies – I’m late; so this week it’s Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun Blog Hop on Saturday!


Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun #3

Thank goodness it’s the end of the week –  sleep-in time tomorrow! Hurrah!

Anyway, are you ready for some jolly good blog-hopping!

It’s time for Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun, hosted by Hilary over at Feeling Beachie and co-hosted this week by Jennifer on What Would Jen Do!  Every week Hilary and her co-hostee post four sentences for us to fill in the blanks. Here goes!

1 I have to be the worst cook in the whole world! I appreciate eating lovely food but I just can’t be arsed to faff  around making it! Sautee this, marinade that, flambe the other. Add herbs and spices . Season to taste. Season to taste like what, for God’s sake! I mean, what’s wrong with ‘Bung in the oven and when you see smoke, it’s ready’?

Flambee

Image by Charles Haynes via Flickr

 2. Although for the most part I love it, sometimes I wish I could just get rid of my ditzyness! I’d love – just once – to get in a lift, press the button and arrive at my chosen destination, instead of spending twenty minutes lurching up and down, only to end up on the same floor I started on, seeing the same, perplexed faces peering in at me! I’d love – just once – to find my purse when paying for a pizza, without having to empty the contents of my Mary Poppins-style bag and getting my arse stuck under a chair when trying to retrieve a loo-roll-sized tampon! And I’d love –  just for once – to flirt with a cute Builder Guy and remember to ask his fucking name!   😉

Face Palm
Image by andy.wolf via Flickr

3. The best thing about where I live is the people. It’s a village and pretty much everyone knows everyone else. It was great when the boys were little; if one of the little Herberts was misbehaving at the other end of the village, someone’d be on the phone, grassing ’em up, within minutes. Not that my blonde-haired angels were ever any trouble, of course…

 

4. Aside from a new house, car or vacation, the first luxury I’d buy myself if I won the lottery is a chauffeur. I bloody hate driving! It’s not the actual mechanics of driving that sends me insane, it’s the other bleedin’ drivers!  They’re so rude! And arrogant! When you veer into a hedge on a narrow lane, you don’t get a ‘thank-you’, you get given the friggin’ finger for not moving faster! And because we’re in a tourist area, we have seven months’ worth of visitors idling their way along the roads looking for quaint pubs and Ye Olde Tea Houses. Arggghhhh!

 Hope you enjoyed! Now hop over to Feeling Beachie and join the fun!

Further Follow Friday Fill-In Fun!

It’s Friday already, and time for Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun, hosted by Hilary over at Feeling Beachie and co-hosted by Irene on her Soapbox!  Every week Hilary and her co-hostee post four sentences for us to fill in the blanks. Here goes!

1. I am probably in the minority, but I really don’t like  Twitter.  Yeah, yeah, I know it’s the fastest growing social media site ever, but really! So many people (like me)  think they have to have an account and either, have nothing mind-blowing to say so they rarely post anything (like me), or they fill up their day with inane, inconsequential tweets: I am watching a film!  Yep, just like a million others. I am having a poo!  Yep, thanks for sharing. 
One day we’ll fondly look back at this Twitter obsession and laugh at our own Tweeting Twattedness!

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

 

 2. I get so mad when I see someone without testicles masquerading as a man!  Cry at Bambi! Tell me your inner fears! But at the same time, be a man!  Make a decision once in a while! Take some responsibility! Don’t just behave like a weedy, needy wet blanket! God gave you a pair – now use ’em!

Are You Man Enough

Image via Wikipedia

 

3. After I rant and swear  I feel better!  You may not have realised it, but I’m quite a stressy person… I get incensed over stuff like injustice and lack of common sense. And bloody doctors who think you’re thick! Honestly I’ve never progressed past that five-year-old mentality of stamping my foot and squealing It’s not fair!  If I were to keep all that angst inside, I’d spontaneously combust! And there’s nothing quite like swearing as a means of de-stressing. Try it! Say Oh gosh! It’s not exactly anxiety busting now, is it? Now try,  Oh fuck it! Bastarding bollocks and fuckety-fuck-fuck! See! Instant mind and body detox! And it’s free!

swearing in cartoon

Image via Wikipedia

 

4. If I don’t regularly pooper-scoop the garden –  it really stinks! I’ve got a big dog and I recently worked out this complicated formula, pertaining to this particular problem: 
Big dog + big dinners + big bin scavenging hunts = BIG piles of poo!
On fine days I love parking my arse in the swingseat and writing outdoors. It’s bearable on chilly days if I wrap myself in a blanket, but it’s wonderful on warm, sunny days, if I’ve been vigilant. Otherwise, as the sun warms up the grass, I end up gagging on the smell.  Mmm… eau de Dog Doop.

Disgust

Image by My Name Is Taylor via Flickr

Well, that’s been fun! I’ve had a wonderful ranting session – a perfect way to start the weekend  🙂

Hop over to Feeling Beachie and join in the fun!

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