Each week Hilary posts four statements with blanks for us to fill in our answers. I’m also going to attempt to add the linky. But just remember I’m techno-crap; I’m accepting no responsibility if you press the button and end up hotporn.com.
If you want to join in – and why wouldn’t you? – please follow both hosts and add your name to the
porn site linky. Also, visit Hilary if you’d like to submit two statements to be added to the next hop!
1. My favourite kitchen secret is disabling the smoke alarm. That way I can flambé in peace and it doesn’t disturb the neighbours. Or the neighbourhood dogs. My second secret is strategically placed scented candles or particularly potent joss sticks. This helps
mask the stench of burnt flesh create a beautiful, calm cooking ambience.
3. My favourite pair of jeans finally wore out! I was gutted; those jeans were awesome – stretchy, soft and shaped. (I always wear bootleg jeans; the flare at the bottom of my legs helps balance the size of my arse. I look more hour-glass than butternut-squash shaped.) They came from New Look, fitted me perfectly and were just so comfy. When they wore through on the knee, I pretended it was trendy. When they wore just just under my right butt cheek, I patched them with bright pink material. I wore them like this for about a two years ’til the denim became as thin as tissue paper and the strain of my mammoth-sized arse proved just too much for the patch. Jeans, I’ll always love you…
4. If only I could have just one more boink. I’m at a sexual peak, for God’s sake – that stage just before the menopause when a woman’s hormones scream, ‘Boink me! Boink me, now! Before it’s too late! Before my body withers and wrinkles and I start smelling like moth balls and cat wee! Is it too much to ask for? Just one more wild, abandoned, hot and sweaty session of screaming animal sex?!
Oh, Jason, where are you when I need you?
Okay, hold your breath – I’m going for the linky…
Okay, having problems with the linky… Hmm… Watch this space; I WILL NOT be defeated!