Meet My Giant Bottom on Monday…

It’s time for Meet a Bigger Part of Me on Monday. And no, I don’t meet my bottom.

I’m linking up the lovely Java on Never Growing Old for Monday’s blog-hop. Every week she posts five questions and us blog-hoppers answers these questions on our blogs and then link up to read everyone else’s answers!

1.  If you had to eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Hmm, well I answered this one last week – roast chicken – yum, yum! So I’ll go with my second favourite food this time, and this one might surprise you – salad! I love a huge plateful of assorted salad stuff; it’s a bit like Pick ‘n’ Mix that’s good fer yer bowels! Iceberg lettuce, rocket, herbs, cucumber, fresh tomato slices, green grapes, avocado strips, cold sweetcorn, grated cheese, ham and chicken pieces, coleslaw, peanuts …Yum! Yum!

Image by http://www.theedinburghblog.co.uk via Flickr

2.  Do you write your blog posts in advance or the day you post them?

I write them pretty much on the run. I try to spend Monday writing them all for the week, but rarely manage it. Something always seems to get in the way. Today I needed to get some links and stuff back on my sidebar and would my computer co-operate? Of course not! It just kept sending up ‘Internet Explorer Not Responding!’ messages like I hadn’t noticed! Well, let me tell you, Condescending-Browser-Bar, I did  notice, and if you’d have been paying any kind of attention, you’d have bleedin’ well realised! The constant, agitated swearing through gritted teeth kind should have provided a bit of a clue!

Image by Sybren A. Stüvel via Flickr

3.What is your favorite candle scent?

Depends on my mood and how badly I need to mask the smell of wet dog. I love cinnamon, vanilla or chocolate, but at the moment I’m into Summer Berries scented candles.  

Image by SimonQ錫濛譙 via Flickr

4. Have you ever been in an ambulance?

Only once when Youngest was about four – he had a massively high temperature which refused to be treated and he ended up having febrile convulsions. I’ve never been so scared in my life – he started jerking, then his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he was ‘gone’! I honestly thought he’d died. There I was, trying to be coherent on the phone, calling an ambulance when all I wanted to do was belt round the house like a mad, screaming banshee-woman, yelling for them to DRIVE FASTERRRRR!!
It was horrible, even with the company of paramedics in uniforms, it was just awful!

Image by Annie Mole via Flickr

5. Coffee or tea?

Tea, and I like it how I like my men – dark, strong and hot. I usually end up settling for wet and warm, but a girl needs something great to aim for, doesn’t she?

Image by Justin Mclean via Flickr

And now over to Java’s to link up:

Meet Even More of Me on Monday…

It’s Monday again and I’m linking up with Meet Me on Monday, hosted, as always by the lovely Java on Never Growing Old. Every week she posts five questions and us blog-hoppers answers these questions on our blogs and then link up to read everyone else’s answers!

Simple, huh?

1 What is your favourite way to eat potatoes?

Hmm…I love ’em baked or roasted, but I’d have to say my favourite is chips! Crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, loads of salt and vinegar, and dripping in grease. Yum! Let’s hear it for cholesterol! When I was pregnant I had terrible cravings for chips, and couldn’t physically get past a chip-shop without stopping off for a bag. Or two. Or sometimes three… No wonder I’ve got such a lardy arse. 

Image via Wikipedia

2. What was the last package delivered to your house?

That would have been a snazzy new set of  tyres for Youngest’s  bike. I say, snazzy because of the price-tag. They certainly don’t look anything special – black and circular with rubber tread stamped all over ’em. Just like any other old bicycle tyre, in fact. And they certainly don’t do anything special: they don’t hoover the carpet. Or make cups of tea. And they don’t mow the lawn, either.  I suppose the box they arrived in, was  quite nice – strong and firm and cardboardy, but apart from that, I really don’t know why they’re so snazzy. Or so bleedin’ expensive. 

                                                                           Image by außerirdische sind gesund via Flickr

3.What is your favourite smell?

Hmm, I love the smell of petrol and I adore the  scent of washing, dried on the line in the sunshine, but my favourite smell has to be coffee. It’s funny because I hardly ever drink the stuff – I’m a strong, brick-red cup of tea lover myself, but the smell of a hot, frothy cappuccino is mouth-wateringly gorgeous!

Image by Jürgen Lison via Flickr

4. Do you smoke?

Erm…yes! It’s the one thing I regret in life. Over the years I’ve tried pretty much everything to help me quit: nicotine patches, inhalers, chewing gum, lozenges, herbal ciggies, hypnosis and even positive visualisation (don’t laugh; I was desperate!) At the beginning of the summer I was on these tablets that alter the chemistry of the brain, suppressing the desire to smoke. Well, they were fantastic – just one whiff of someone else’s cigarette and I was gagging. Trouble was, they turned me into Vicious Viper Woman and I had to stop the treatment early. I’d gone four months and I honestly thought I’d kicked it, but I was so upset at one of  my 6 ft babies leaving home, I started smoking again! Well, duh!

Image by mendhak via Flickr

 5. Are your parents married or divorced?

My dad died when I was little, but my mum re-married and they’re still together some twenty-odd years later!

And that’s another glimpse into the life of Tiny!

Tomorrow I’ll be revealing which one of my statements was true and which four were enhanced and embellished! I would love to hear your guesses, so please have a go!  I would also love to provide a link to the relevant post,  but I’m so techno-crap, I’d probably just link you with Mars! The post is underneath this one!  🙂    

Meet Me Some More on Monday…

Crikey, where has the week gone? Pfft! and it’s disappeared in a flurry of illness and medical visits. Another few blinks and it’ll be Christmas…

And on that cheery note, we’ll begin Monday’s regular Meet Me post, hosted, as always, by the lovely Java on Never Growing Old :

1 Did you receive any Valentine’s gifts?

No. Next question…
I always buy something for my boys on Valentine’s Day. The Ex thinks I’m a pervert, but I stand resolute; 14th February is for saying I Love You, whether it’s to a partner, spouse, friend or family pet.

And yes, some of us are humble enough to accept a loving, sloppy kiss from the dog. I just wish he’d rinse with mouthwash first…

Image by nhanusek via Flickr

2 What is your favourite topping on toast?

Hmm… Depends what kind of mood I’m in. I love Marmite on toast. Or chocolate spread, but I guess my favourite has to be fried mushrooms, drizzled in melted Brie. Deee-licious!           

Image by adactio via Flickr

 

3.Do you pick out your outfit the night before?

Nah, that’d be way too much like organisation. And who knows what the weather’ll be like? Or what  kind of mood I’ll be in? I might be in a Slobbing-Around-In-Pyjamas-All-Day mood, and then I’ll have wasted all that effort of pre-selecting an oufit! Ye Gods! Preserve energy, that’s my motto!

Image by another sergio via Flickr

  

 4. What food item do you absolutely detest?

Dried Parmesan cheese! Urrgghh! *makes gagging noises*  How can anyone eat that stuff? It smells like rancid, sweaty-sock, infected-penis vomit! *makes even more exaggerated gagging noises and rolls her eyes* 
Oh, and tuna, but only if I’m pregnant. And then, just one whiff of the stuff, and Beware! I’ll blow where I’m standing and barf for England!

Image via Wikipedia

 

5. Righty or lefty?

Well, I’m equally clumsy with both hands, but I’m right-handed if that’s what you wanted to know. Aren’t lefties supposed to be mathematically minded while righties are more creative? 

 Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all!

Ho ho! It’s Monday!

And time for more information about me that you didn’t really want to hear! Linking up with Java on Never Growing Old, here goes!

1 Did you watch the Superbowl?

Did I watch the what? Do we have a Superbowl in the UK? I don’t know what it is? A huge, bigger-than-average, mammoth sized bowl? Is this it?

Image by swanksalot via Flickr

2. What is the last book you read?

I always have at least one book on the go. I snatch minutes during the day, waiting for the kettle to boil, reading during TV advert breaks. I even used to read while I was ironing! Before I realised that life was too short for ironing, of course… I read anything except sci-fi – just can’t suspend my disbelief enough to get into the story. At the moment I’m reading Nicci Gerard’s Things We Knew Were True. It’s about first love, family secrets and grief. Just a little light reading for a Monday morning…

3. What is your favourite kind of cake?

Ooh! Carrot cake, chocolate cake, victoria sponge with oodles of jam and cream filling! My friend makes a delicious beetroot cake with fuchsia-pink icing. It sounds weird, but it’s gawjus!      

    

Image via Wikipedia

 

4.Do you snore?

Umm…I don’t think so, but I do talk in my sleep. In fact we all like a good old natter during the night. Youngest son’s the worst; he breaks wind, moans, chats, burps and groans while he’s asleep. You feel this resonant fart blasting and echoing through the house, and then hear a little voice say, ‘Oops! Pardon me!’

5. Do you play a musical instrument?

Nope! Not me! Am totally tone-deaf and musically challenged. Funny, ‘cos both my boys play instruments and Eldest is at uni studying music. Maybe when I’m really old, I’ll learn to play something mellow and melodic…

Image by gerry balding via Flickr

Meet More of Me on Monday…

And another Monday morning catch-up, hosted by Java on Never Growing Old.

1. What do you put on your hot dog?

Water, of course, to cool him down!

image by Chefranden via Flickr

2. Do you play Sudoku?

Yes, I love Sudoku, especially the killer kind where you have to work out the sum before filling in the number. It’s amazingly addictive once you get into it and I like to think it keeps my brain active (ish).

by Joka2000 via Flickr

3. What is your favourite vegetable?

Sorry, Bernie, but it’s gotta be broccoli, and it’s gotta be crunchy. If it’s cooked for too long, it turns all slimy and mushy and that’s just gross!

by Darwin Bell via Flickr

4. Do you colour your hair?

Does a bear crap in the woods?

I’m nearly all grey under my hair-dye – I’ve had a hard life, peeps. I like auburn or red shades the best – once, I thought I’d do as the TV told me and ‘be a shade braver’. I ended up with a mad mass of postbox red curls, and could I tone it down? Nope! I had to wear a baseball cap for a fortnight until it faded!

by Atomic Jeep via Flickr

Obviously I should’ve shaved first…

5. What is your favourite brand of clothing?

Personally I prefer the Charity Shop brand of clothes – cheap ‘n’ cheerful! I’m a jeans or long skirt and woolly jumpers kind of girl. Occasionally I try to be feminine and go for the whole made-up, glitzy, sexy female, but I never seem to get the look quite right…

by Elsie esq via Flickr

Meet Me on Monday…

Crikey! I’m loving these blog hops. I just need another seven hours in the day to read ’em all, but apart from that, it’ great!

I don’t know if I explained it last week. Probably ‘cos I don’t really know what I’m doing. It’s too technical for my poor brain. Java on Never Growing Old posts five questions on Monday. I answer these on my blog, and link into a list on her blog. I can then see who else has taken part and hop over to read their blog.

I think.

If I downloaded a linky thing, the list would then appear on my blog, and you could check out their blogs!

I think.

Okay, I have a headache, now…

1 What is your favourite kind of fudge?

Mmmm…fudge… I love any kind, but I suppose my favourite has to be made with clotted cream. Especially if it’s covered in chocolate. It’s all made in Cornwall, you see, and I do feel a certain obligation to support Cornish industry…

Image by Semarr via Flickr

2 Is there snow outside your window?

Nope! We had flurries of it at the end of last year, but the weather’s been sunny and spring-like all week. 

Of course, now I’ve pulled out the camera, it’s clouding over…

Ye Olde Cornish Tin Mine Chimney...

3 What is your favourite meal of the day?

Dinnertime! I don’t eat breakfast (unless biscuits count) and lunch is for re-fuelling, but the evening meal’s the biggie! I love roast dinners or lasagna or pork chops, mash and loads of veg and gravy. Yum! Let’s hear it for cholesterol!

Image by Gene Hunt via Flickr

4 Do you text on your cell phone?

Well, kind of… in my own s-l-o-w way. Have to go predictive as well – can’t stand pressing buttons for twenty minutes, missing the letter you want and having to start all over again…. Although predictive’s not perfect; it doesn’t seem to recognise sweary words. The amount of times I’ve texted a ‘ducking’ expletive!

But it's so much fun! by Ford

5 Waffles or pancakes?

Ooh, it’s a toughie… pancakes, I think. With toffee sauce and lumps of bananas. Or melted chocolate. Or strawberries, drizzled with honey. Not fussy, really!
And they’re so much fun to make – even the dog ends up wearing one!

Mmm...pancakes... by Daquella Manera

Meet Me on Monday!

As there are no hot dates in my life at the moment, I thought I’d diversify…

I may have really cocked this up, ‘cos I’m useless with links and stuff, but I think I’m taking part in Meet Me on Monday courtesy of Java on NeverGrowingOld.

It’s a way of us all getting to know each other.

I think.

It may just be a way of worming personal information out of people ‘cos we’re all just really nosy, but here goes:

1.  Do you like your ice cream in a dish, waffle cone, pretzel cone, sugar cone or cake cone?

I’ve got sensitive teeth so the only way I can eat ice cream is in a bowl, all mushed up and melted like baby food. It’s good practice for when I get really old and lose all my teeth.

 

2.  Do you read the newspaper daily?

Hardly ever. I don’t watch the news, either. Far too depressing   😦 
If I ever come across a paper though, I will read my horoscope. In fact I’ll keeping reading through all the horoscopes until I find one I like!

Aries, you're gonna have a baaa-d day!

3.  Marinara or meat sauce?

Definitely a meat sauce. I love spag bol and lasagna. Shame we’ve got liver for tea…

Oh, yum!

4.  Last time you cried?

Oh God, do I have to answer this one? Sorry, son… It was September 20th 2010 and we’d just taken Eldest son to start uni in Bristol. We unloaded all his crap into his student flat, and when it was time for us to leave, I hugged him, told him I was proud and that I loved him and just made it out of the door! I howled like a big baby all the way down the stairs and all across Bristol town centre to where we’d left the car. My ex and youngest son walked three steps in front, refusing to make eye contact with the mad banshee woman behind. ‘This is more painful than giving birth,’ I wailed. ‘No, it’s not!’ hissed the ex. ‘This time around you’re not breaking my fingers!’
By the time we’d reached Okehampton, I’d been sobbing for about three solid hours.
‘Dad, we have to stop for a drink,’ youngest son urged, sneaking a peek at my prune-like face. ‘Mum needs rehydrating…’

Image by Noah Sussman via Flickr

 

  5.  What word/phrase do you find really annoying?

 

Ummm… blank mind…. I can’t stand text-speak, if that counts. I’m fine with lol and other acronyms, but can’t abide seeing mangled messages -‘Ite, m8? wuu2? U n ur g/f in tomoz? kk brb’
Honestly! What is that? What does it mean?!

  

Grr! by Martin Kingsley