Tag Archives: blog-hopping

10 Good Things on Monday…

I must apologise – sorry, sorry, sorry – for not reading any blog posts for a few days – I’ve been so busy, I’m all behind with the fun stuff. I went to a Creative Writing workshop on Saturday – I have to just share this with you – we all tried Automatic Writing (meditation, putting pen to paper and allowing a ‘higher force’ to guide the words – could be God, Spirit, or your subconscious mind, depending on your beliefs). Well, most of us had squiggles to show for it, but Diane, the lady next to me, had three lines of perfectly formed  letters – but written backwards! We all crowded into the ladies and shoved her paper up against the mirror – it read: ‘Hello. I am here writing.’ Wow!
We all stampeded back to our tables, determined to find hidden messages in our scrawl. Eldest son suddenly yelled, ‘Mum! Look! You’ve written LOL backwards!’   😀
Am I deeply philosophical, or what?

Anyway, moving onto today’s post where I’m linking up with Nina on Brush Up On Your Reading for 10 Good Things on Monday, and this time I’ve chosen my ten most-loved books:

       1.Wuthering Heights ~ Emily Brontë

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Probably my all-time favourite novel – it’s about love, passion and tragedy on the Yorkshire Moors – a once-in-a-lifetime, all compassing love that transcends the grave. A bit like me and Jase…   😉

      2. One Day ~ David Nicholls

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It’s the 15th of July 1988. Emma and Dexter spend their graduation night together. The next day, they must go their separate ways. David Nicholls tells their story on this one day every year for the next thirty years. I love this book! My favourite quote: ‘You’re gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence, Either that or a scented candle.’

         3. Dear John ~ Nicholas Sparks

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Get your tissues out, girlies, this one broke my hardened, cynical little heart. Can love survive long-distance and the pressure of professional duty? Be warned: the book’s far more emotional than the film!

        4. Insomnia ~ Steven King

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I’m pretty much in love with anything Stephen King writes, but I particularly love this one. It’s all about pensioner Ralph suddenly developing insomnia, yet as he needs less and less sleep, his mind becomes sharper. And then the hallucinations start – dun, dun, dunnnn – the colours, shapes and strange auras. Needless to say, there’s an evil force afoot, and Ralph must play the hero and save the world!

         5. Spanky ~ Christopher Fowler

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Martyn Ross has a miserable life until he meets Spanky – his very own personal demon. Spanky makes Martyn’s wishes come true, but is Martyn prepared to pay the cost for such hedonistic pleasures? Really tight, witty writing with a story premise that explores the deeper issues of mankind, it’s a favourite, folks, it’s a classic!

       6. Blacklands ~ Belinda Bauer 

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A chilling psychological drama set on Exmoor. Twelve-year-old Steven Lamb’s uncle disappeared as a child, and the family are still grieving. Everyone believes he was murdered by Arnold Avery and then buried on the moors. Steven decides to contact the child-killer, hoping to discover the whereabouts of his uncle’s remains… A fantastic story full of intrigue and suspense as we’re taken into the minds of both a small boy and a manipulative serial killer.

         7. Hot Six ~ Janet Evanovitch

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Stephanie Plum is a blonde, sassy bounty hunter who keeps her gun in a cookie jar. Part six of a series that is outrageously, laugh-out-loud funny. This one starts off with: ‘Okay, so here’s the thing. My mother’s worst fear has come true. I’m a nymphomaniac. I lust after a lot of men. Of course, maybe that’s because I don’t actually have sex with any. And some of my lustings probably aren’t going anywhere. Probably it’s unrealistic to think I’ll ever get it on with Mike Richter, the goalie for the New York Rangers. Ditto Indiana Jones.’
I just love, worship and adore this woman: when I grow up, I wanna be Stephanie Plum.

        8. Where Rainbows End ~ Cecelia Ahern

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 Aww, another we-can’t-quite-our-acts-together romance, but this one’s funny and touching. Rosie and Alex are naughty seven-year-old friends, then rebellious teenagers and finally, fully fledged adults. They nurture their friendship through misspelled notes in school, e-mails, postcards and misplaced, emotional love-letters. Will these two ever get it together?

        9. Play Dead ~ Harlan Coben 

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I love, love, love this author and his clever plots and twists, always creating intrigue and suspense. I’ve chosen Play Dead because it’s the only one of his books where I’ve been able to work out whodunnit! Yay! Go, me! Laura Ayers is on her honeymoon when her new hubby drowns in the sea. Was it an accident? Or suicide? Or –gasp! – murder! A whole conspiracy plot evolves as Coben drip-feeds us clues and red-herrings.

        10. Pride and Prejudice ~ Jane Austin

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Do I need to say anything about Pride and Prejudice? An all-time classic featuring the wonderful Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy, and let’s face it, we all need a Mr Darcy in our lives *sigh*   😉

Thanks, Nina, for hosting!

Nine Men I Wouldn’t Kick out of Bed for Eating Crisps and One for Irene!

I’m linking up with Nina on Brush Up On Your Reading today for a post called Ten Good Things on Monday. It’s all about listing ten great that make you happy – favourite meals, fabulous books, must-see films – anything that that makes you perky! I probably won’t be allowed back because I’ve chosen to feature my personal list of Sex Gods (and one of Irene’s!)

        1.  Jason Statham ~ I could never mention hunky men without featuring JS. Apart from being knicker-twitchingly gorgeous, he’s starred in some of my favourite films – The Expendables, The Mechanic and The Crank and Transporter movies. 

Jason-Statham

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       2. Heath Ledger ~ I loved him in A Knight’s Tale…  All that determination and knightly behaviour, and his pecs aren’t half bad, either…       

        

 
 
 

(* 4. April 1979 in Perth, Western Australia, ...

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      3. Mel Gibson ~ yeah, yeah, I know he’s a bit of a knob and he’s had bad publicity, but he’s still bleedin’ gorgeous, and let’s face it, this isn’t a list about sparkling intellect or wonderful personalities; I’m talking pure rumpy-pumpy value.

Mel Gibson's mugshot from his 28 July 2006 arr...

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        4. Jon Bon Jovi~ but only with the hair. He definately lost some phwoar factor when he chopped off his locks

          5. Johnny Depp ~ oh, yum! He’s got that mean, moody appeal and Cap’n Jack Sparrow is one of my all-time favourite film characters.

Johnny Depp at the Pirates of the Caribbean: D...

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            6. Jeremy Clarkson ~ Britsh TV programme Top Gear presenter with a scathing sense of humour. This one’s for Irene who absolutely lurves him…

Jeremy Clarkson at AutoItalia Stanford Hall 20...

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        7. Richard Hammond ~ my personal favourite of The Top Gear team – he’s just soo adorable! I mean, just look at those twinkly, flirty eyes – cuter than a puppy and less carpet pooping.

Picture of Richard Hammond, on the set of Top ...

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      8. Robbie Williams ~ Whatever ‘it’ is, Robbie has it. Gorgeous, funny, vulnerable and brutally honest about his troubled life. I saw Robbie in concert at Knebworth in 2003 and it was amazing -the sound of 125,000 people all singing Angels was just mind-blowing.

The Best So Far (Robbie Williams album)

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         9. Ronan Keating ~ lead-singer with Boyzone, and couldn’t you just ruffle your fingers through his hair and tear his shirt off?

Songs for My Mother

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        10. Richard Gear ~ One of the few guys around who become more mouth-wateringly tasty as they mature. Richard’s been in two of my all-time favourite mushy films – An Officer and a Gentleman and Pretty Women. What a delectable piece of arse!  🙂

Richard Gere

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Yummy, yum yum! Hope you’ve enjoyed drooling as much as I have!
Thanks, Nina, and I hope I haven’t lowered the tone of your blog hop too much….

Meet My Giant Bottom on Monday…

Posted on

It’s time for Meet a Bigger Part of Me on Monday. And no, I don’t meet my bottom.

I’m linking up the lovely Java on Never Growing Old for Monday’s blog-hop. Every week she posts five questions and us blog-hoppers answers these questions on our blogs and then link up to read everyone else’s answers!

1.  If you had to eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Hmm, well I answered this one last week – roast chicken – yum, yum! So I’ll go with my second favourite food this time, and this one might surprise you – salad! I love a huge plateful of assorted salad stuff; it’s a bit like Pick ‘n’ Mix that’s good fer yer bowels! Iceberg lettuce, rocket, herbs, cucumber, fresh tomato slices, green grapes, avocado strips, cold sweetcorn, grated cheese, ham and chicken pieces, coleslaw, peanuts …Yum! Yum!

2.  Do you write your blog posts in advance or the day you post them?

I write them pretty much on the run. I try to spend Monday writing them all for the week, but rarely manage it. Something always seems to get in the way. Today I needed to get some links and stuff back on my sidebar and would my computer co-operate? Of course not! It just kept sending up ‘Internet Explorer Not Responding!’ messages like I hadn’t noticed! Well, let me tell you, Condescending-Browser-Bar, I did  notice, and if you’d have been paying any kind of attention, you’d have bleedin’ well realised! The constant, agitated swearing through gritted teeth kind should have provided a bit of a clue!

Frustration (was: threesixtyfive | day 244)

Image by Sybren A. Stüvel via Flickr

3.What is your favorite candle scent?

Depends on my mood and how badly I need to mask the smell of wet dog. I love cinnamon, vanilla or chocolate, but at the moment I’m into Summer Berries scented candles.  

蠟燭

Image by SimonQ錫濛譙 via Flickr

4. Have you ever been in an ambulance?

Only once when Youngest was about four – he had a massively high temperature which refused to be treated and he ended up having febrile convulsions. I’ve never been so scared in my life – he started jerking, then his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he was ‘gone’! I honestly thought he’d died. There I was, trying to be coherent on the phone, calling an ambulance when all I wanted to do was belt round the house like a mad, screaming banshee-woman, yelling for them to DRIVE FASTERRRRR!!
It was horrible, even with the company of paramedics in uniforms, it was just awful!

Emergency Tube Margarita

Image by Annie Mole via Flickr

5. Coffee or tea?

Tea, and I like it how I like my men – dark, strong and hot. I usually end up settling for wet and warm, but a girl needs something great to aim for, doesn’t she?

Cup of tea and cake on a red table cloth

Image by Justin Mclean via Flickr

And now over to Java’s to link up:

Meet Me On Monday

Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun #4 On Saturday…

Yay! It’s Friday and time for Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun Blog-Hop! Try saying that after a pint of vodka.

Each week Hilary on Feeling Beachie posts four statements for us to fill in the blanks on our blogs. This week Bernie is co-hosting because she provided the last two sentences. Feel free to hop on over to Hilary’s or Bernie’s and join in the fun by adding your link and filling-in those blanks!

1. I can’t help it, but whenever I see oldies holding hands, I smile. I’m incredibly cynical, yet wildly romantic – go figure! Love that transcends the smooth skin and pert wobbly bits of youth is just wonderful, and I adore seeing oldies hand-holding or cuddling in public. It’s just so, Wow! There’s hope for me, yet!  

Old couple holding hands, Arad, Romania

Image by Royston Rascals via Flickr

2. Every time I smell pipe smoke I’m immediately transported back to my childhood. It’s not a common smell these days, but occasionally I’ll catch a whiff and suddenly, I’m seven again, sitting with my dad while he puffed away on his pipe.

Pipe Rack

Image via Wikipedia

Oh, and mothballs! They take me right back to my Gran’s wardrobe where she hoarded fur coats and wraps. I spent days in that damned smelly cupboard, convinced I’d found Narnia! 🙂

First edition

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3. When I was little I wanted to be a TV cooking show presenter. Lol at me ‘cos my cooking’s atrocious! I spent half my childhood (when I wasn’t busy looking for a non-existent, magical land) in the garden, mixing up pots of mud and leaves, adding coffee and practising camera poses. And I can’t believe I’ve just admitted that in public!

Cooking disaster #1

Image by photos_martha via Flickr

 

4. If I had to eat one meal for the rest of my life it would be a roast chicken dinner. Oh yum! Roast potatoes – crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside – oodles of moist meat, stuffing balls, Yorkshire pudding, roast carrots, parsnips and sweet potatoes, crisp brocoli and lashings of gravy. And now I’m dribbling on the keyboard.

Roast beef with Yorkshire puddings, roast pota...

Image via Wikipedia

(Yeah, I know it’s roast beef in the photo, but it was the yummiest picture I could find!)

Now get yer butts over to Beachie’s or Bernie’s and join the hop! PS Apologies – I’m late; so this week it’s Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun Blog Hop on Saturday!


Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun #3

Thank goodness it’s the end of the week –  sleep-in time tomorrow! Hurrah!

Anyway, are you ready for some jolly good blog-hopping!

It’s time for Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun, hosted by Hilary over at Feeling Beachie and co-hosted this week by Jennifer on What Would Jen Do!  Every week Hilary and her co-hostee post four sentences for us to fill in the blanks. Here goes!

1 I have to be the worst cook in the whole world! I appreciate eating lovely food but I just can’t be arsed to faff  around making it! Sautee this, marinade that, flambe the other. Add herbs and spices . Season to taste. Season to taste like what, for God’s sake! I mean, what’s wrong with ‘Bung in the oven and when you see smoke, it’s ready’?

Flambee

Image by Charles Haynes via Flickr

 2. Although for the most part I love it, sometimes I wish I could just get rid of my ditzyness! I’d love – just once – to get in a lift, press the button and arrive at my chosen destination, instead of spending twenty minutes lurching up and down, only to end up on the same floor I started on, seeing the same, perplexed faces peering in at me! I’d love – just once – to find my purse when paying for a pizza, without having to empty the contents of my Mary Poppins-style bag and getting my arse stuck under a chair when trying to retrieve a loo-roll-sized tampon! And I’d love –  just for once – to flirt with a cute Builder Guy and remember to ask his fucking name!   😉

Face Palm
Image by andy.wolf via Flickr

3. The best thing about where I live is the people. It’s a village and pretty much everyone knows everyone else. It was great when the boys were little; if one of the little Herberts was misbehaving at the other end of the village, someone’d be on the phone, grassing ’em up, within minutes. Not that my blonde-haired angels were ever any trouble, of course…

 

4. Aside from a new house, car or vacation, the first luxury I’d buy myself if I won the lottery is a chauffeur. I bloody hate driving! It’s not the actual mechanics of driving that sends me insane, it’s the other bleedin’ drivers!  They’re so rude! And arrogant! When you veer into a hedge on a narrow lane, you don’t get a ‘thank-you’, you get given the friggin’ finger for not moving faster! And because we’re in a tourist area, we have seven months’ worth of visitors idling their way along the roads looking for quaint pubs and Ye Olde Tea Houses. Arggghhhh!

 Hope you enjoyed! Now hop over to Feeling Beachie and join the fun!

Further Follow Friday Fill-In Fun!

It’s Friday already, and time for Follow Friday Four Fill-In Fun, hosted by Hilary over at Feeling Beachie and co-hosted by Irene on her Soapbox!  Every week Hilary and her co-hostee post four sentences for us to fill in the blanks. Here goes!

1. I am probably in the minority, but I really don’t like  Twitter.  Yeah, yeah, I know it’s the fastest growing social media site ever, but really! So many people (like me)  think they have to have an account and either, have nothing mind-blowing to say so they rarely post anything (like me), or they fill up their day with inane, inconsequential tweets: I am watching a film!  Yep, just like a million others. I am having a poo!  Yep, thanks for sharing. 
One day we’ll fondly look back at this Twitter obsession and laugh at our own Tweeting Twattedness!

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

 

 2. I get so mad when I see someone without testicles masquerading as a man!  Cry at Bambi! Tell me your inner fears! But at the same time, be a man!  Make a decision once in a while! Take some responsibility! Don’t just behave like a weedy, needy wet blanket! God gave you a pair – now use ’em!

Are You Man Enough

Image via Wikipedia

 

3. After I rant and swear  I feel better!  You may not have realised it, but I’m quite a stressy person… I get incensed over stuff like injustice and lack of common sense. And bloody doctors who think you’re thick! Honestly I’ve never progressed past that five-year-old mentality of stamping my foot and squealing It’s not fair!  If I were to keep all that angst inside, I’d spontaneously combust! And there’s nothing quite like swearing as a means of de-stressing. Try it! Say Oh gosh! It’s not exactly anxiety busting now, is it? Now try,  Oh fuck it! Bastarding bollocks and fuckety-fuck-fuck! See! Instant mind and body detox! And it’s free!

swearing in cartoon

Image via Wikipedia

 

4. If I don’t regularly pooper-scoop the garden –  it really stinks! I’ve got a big dog and I recently worked out this complicated formula, pertaining to this particular problem: 
Big dog + big dinners + big bin scavenging hunts = BIG piles of poo!
On fine days I love parking my arse in the swingseat and writing outdoors. It’s bearable on chilly days if I wrap myself in a blanket, but it’s wonderful on warm, sunny days, if I’ve been vigilant. Otherwise, as the sun warms up the grass, I end up gagging on the smell.  Mmm… eau de Dog Doop.

Disgust

Image by My Name Is Taylor via Flickr

Well, that’s been fun! I’ve had a wonderful ranting session – a perfect way to start the weekend  🙂

Hop over to Feeling Beachie and join in the fun!

Meet Me Some More on Monday…

Crikey, where has the week gone? Pfft! and it’s disappeared in a flurry of illness and medical visits. Another few blinks and it’ll be Christmas…

And on that cheery note, we’ll begin Monday’s regular Meet Me post, hosted, as always, by the lovely Java on Never Growing Old :

1 Did you receive any Valentine’s gifts?

No. Next question…
I always buy something for my boys on Valentine’s Day. The Ex thinks I’m a pervert, but I stand resolute; 14th February is for saying I Love You, whether it’s to a partner, spouse, friend or family pet.

And yes, some of us are humble enough to accept a loving, sloppy kiss from the dog. I just wish he’d rinse with mouthwash first…

Day 346/365 - Thoroughly Licked

Image by nhanusek via Flickr

2 What is your favourite topping on toast?

Hmm… Depends what kind of mood I’m in. I love Marmite on toast. Or chocolate spread, but I guess my favourite has to be fried mushrooms, drizzled in melted Brie. Deee-licious!           

Mushrooms and cheese on toast

Image by adactio via Flickr

 

3.Do you pick out your outfit the night before?

Nah, that’d be way too much like organisation. And who knows what the weather’ll be like? Or what  kind of mood I’ll be in? I might be in a Slobbing-Around-In-Pyjamas-All-Day mood, and then I’ll have wasted all that effort of pre-selecting an oufit! Ye Gods! Preserve energy, that’s my motto!

Slob

Image by another sergio via Flickr

  

 4. What food item do you absolutely detest?

Dried Parmesan cheese! Urrgghh! *makes gagging noises*  How can anyone eat that stuff? It smells like rancid, sweaty-sock, infected-penis vomit! *makes even more exaggerated gagging noises and rolls her eyes* 
Oh, and tuna, but only if I’m pregnant. And then, just one whiff of the stuff, and Beware! I’ll blow where I’m standing and barf for England!

Parmesan Cheese (or more accurately, Parmigian...

Image via Wikipedia

 

5. Righty or lefty?

Well, I’m equally clumsy with both hands, but I’m right-handed if that’s what you wanted to know. Aren’t lefties supposed to be mathematically minded while righties are more creative? 

ole mano!

 Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all!

Ho ho! It’s Monday!

And time for more information about me that you didn’t really want to hear! Linking up with Java on Never Growing Old, here goes!

1 Did you watch the Superbowl?

Did I watch the what? Do we have a Superbowl in the UK? I don’t know what it is? A huge, bigger-than-average, mammoth sized bowl? Is this it?

Big Bowl

Image by swanksalot via Flickr

2. What is the last book you read?

I always have at least one book on the go. I snatch minutes during the day, waiting for the kettle to boil, reading during TV advert breaks. I even used to read while I was ironing! Before I realised that life was too short for ironing, of course… I read anything except sci-fi – just can’t suspend my disbelief enough to get into the story. At the moment I’m reading Nicci Gerard’s Things We Knew Were True. It’s about first love, family secrets and grief. Just a little light reading for a Monday morning…

Things We Knew Were True

3. What is your favourite kind of cake?

Ooh! Carrot cake, chocolate cake, victoria sponge with oodles of jam and cream filling! My friend makes a delicious beetroot cake with fuchsia-pink icing. It sounds weird, but it’s gawjus!      

    

Trash Blanc: Beetroot Cake

Image via Wikipedia

 

4.Do you snore?

Umm…I don’t think so, but I do talk in my sleep. In fact we all like a good old natter during the night. Youngest son’s the worst; he breaks wind, moans, chats, burps and groans while he’s asleep. You feel this resonant fart blasting and echoing through the house, and then hear a little voice say, ‘Oops! Pardon me!’

5. Do you play a musical instrument?

Nope! Not me! Am totally tone-deaf and musically challenged. Funny, ‘cos both my boys play instruments and Eldest is at uni studying music. Maybe when I’m really old, I’ll learn to play something mellow and melodic…

Bagpipes

Image by gerry balding via Flickr

An Award! An Award! My blogdom for an Award!

Probable photograph of William Shakespeare, ci...

Image via Wikipedia

It doesn’t have quite the same ring as Shakespeare, but still. Never mind. I tried.

Two weeks ago I was given a Stylish Blogger Award by the beautiful, talented Bernie from One Mixed Bag. She’s a sweetie. Even if she was given three awards in one weekend. Not that I’m jealous, of course. She’s obviously more popular than I am. And she has an Easyfeet. And an apron rack.

But that’s fine. I’m not one to hold a grudge. Much.

Nah! Only joking! 🙂 If you haven’t checked out Bernie’s blog – do it now! She’s really funny and does mad things, like going to McDonald’s for Valentine’s Day with her hubby Mr B, and laying up one of their tables with a cloth and plates and a vase of flowers!

I sooo wanna go out with them for the evening and pretend to be Mr B’s cuckolded wife, or his new pregnant mistress! Oh, the fun we could have 🙂

Anyway, thanks, honey! I was honoured to be chosen – there were some really stylish blogs in her list, but with the last couple of weeks stressing about the Old Knackered Car (still off the road!) and lapsing into comas and possible death, I’ve been sloppy about officially collecting, and passing this award on.

So, without further ado, let’s do this thing!

Taaa-daaaa! Drum-roll please…

How cool is that?! *Grins like the Cheshire Cat*

As part of my official duties, I am asked to share seven things about myself. Eek!
I say ‘Eek!’ because I’m presuming they have to be interesting things… Oh well, here goes:

I have two major phobias – vomit and snakes. I seriously can’t stand being around people if they’re puking; I get all panicky and start having palpitations. When I was little I  pretended to be ill so I wouldn’t have to go on school trips because someone was always sick on the bus. And if I was forced to go, I’d spend the whole journey anxiously watching all the other kids’ faces for signs of travel sickness. As soon as someone went pale, I’d be yelling, ‘Sir! Sir! David’s not feeling well! Stop the bus! He’s gonna be sick! Oh God! Sir! Stop the bus! Get him offffffff!’
And snakes, well – eeuuuwww! It’s funny ‘cos I’ve had a Boa Constrictor draped around my neck, but freak if I see a slow-worm in the garden. Just to recap: I’m fine with the big, thick ones, just can’t cope with the skinny ones flapping all over the place! 🙂

slow worm

I feel ill just looking... Image by Andy Butkaj via Flickr

I once fell asleep against Feargal Sharkey (lead singer of The Undertones) in a nightclub in London. I wasn’t with him or anything; he was just sitting next to me at the bar, and I was tired, so I just kind of slumped and had a snooze. He was very good about it, hardly complained at all about the wet dribble I’d left on his sleeve…

Cliff Richard had a house at the bottom of my garden. In my fantasy world, when I was small. I don’t know why exactly, but I used to pretend that he lived there. At the bottom of my garden. Right behind the apple tree… And we used to play TV presenting together – mainly cookery programmes that involved mixing loads of water with mud. Don’t keep asking! I said already ‘I just don’t know, okay!’

I was so nervous on my first driving test, I was incapable of counting the exits off a roundabout. Three minutes into the exam and I landed us in the middle of a British Telecom car park. The whole place was stacked with engineers in huge vans, all beeping furiously and trying to reverse around me!
And no, I didn’t pass…

First you have to learn how to put the 'L' pla...

Image by canonsnapper via Flickr

 Cider once saved my life. Seriously! A bunch of us students decided it would be a great idea to steal a boat from a nearby private school and take it out for a jolly in the uni’s outdoor swimming pool. It was 3am. In February. And I couldn’t swim. You know the rest of the story – there I was, going up and down in the water, drowning, and waving to the shore for help. The stupid bastards just waved back! Luckily I was still clutching a plastic 2 litre bottle which kept me resurfacing in the water! Without cider, I’d be dead!

I can see ghosts. My left foot always buzzes if there’s a spirit around, and sometimes I’m able to chat with them! You weren’t expecting that, now, were you?!

I almost gave birth to my Youngest son on a bathroom floor. Hubby and I had arrived at the hospital just as my contractions stopped. The Midwife sent him home and packed me off to have a bath. There I was, wallowing around nicely when the contractions started up again – with a vengeance. The emergency pull switch was over the other side of the room! I was trapped in that bloody bath for nearly four hours calling for help! Eventually I heaved myself out and Youngest could wait no longer! I had to crawl/shuffle out of the bathroom on two knees and one hand all the way up the corridor to the nurses’ station – the other hand was stopping baby’s head from dragging along the floor. Of course, I was butt naked and dripping wet – good job it was the middle of the night and not during daytime visiting hours!

Good grief! My life is a Carry On film! I’m going for a lie down. Will be back later to award the awards 🙂

Meet More of Me on Monday…

And another Monday morning catch-up, hosted by Java on Never Growing Old.

1. What do you put on your hot dog?

Water, of course, to cool him down!

One hot dog...

image by Chefranden via Flickr

2. Do you play Sudoku?

Yes, I love Sudoku, especially the killer kind where you have to work out the sum before filling in the number. It’s amazingly addictive once you get into it and I like to think it keeps my brain active (ish).

sudoku flower

by Joka2000 via Flickr

3. What is your favourite vegetable?

Sorry, Bernie, but it’s gotta be broccoli, and it’s gotta be crunchy. If it’s cooked for too long, it turns all slimy and mushy and that’s just gross!

Mmm...broccoli

by Darwin Bell via Flickr

4. Do you colour your hair?

Does a bear crap in the woods?

I’m nearly all grey under my hair-dye – I’ve had a hard life, peeps. I like auburn or red shades the best – once, I thought I’d do as the TV told me and ‘be a shade braver’. I ended up with a mad mass of postbox red curls, and could I tone it down? Nope! I had to wear a baseball cap for a fortnight until it faded!

Red Hair!

by Atomic Jeep via Flickr

Obviously I should’ve shaved first…

5. What is your favourite brand of clothing?

Personally I prefer the Charity Shop brand of clothes – cheap ‘n’ cheerful! I’m a jeans or long skirt and woolly jumpers kind of girl. Occasionally I try to be feminine and go for the whole made-up, glitzy, sexy female, but I never seem to get the look quite right…

man in drag

by Elsie esq via Flickr