Meet Me Some More on Monday…

Crikey, where has the week gone? Pfft! and it’s disappeared in a flurry of illness and medical visits. Another few blinks and it’ll be Christmas…

And on that cheery note, we’ll begin Monday’s regular Meet Me post, hosted, as always, by the lovely Java on Never Growing Old :

1 Did you receive any Valentine’s gifts?

No. Next question…
I always buy something for my boys on Valentine’s Day. The Ex thinks I’m a pervert, but I stand resolute; 14th February is for saying I Love You, whether it’s to a partner, spouse, friend or family pet.

And yes, some of us are humble enough to accept a loving, sloppy kiss from the dog. I just wish he’d rinse with mouthwash first…

Image by nhanusek via Flickr

2 What is your favourite topping on toast?

Hmm… Depends what kind of mood I’m in. I love Marmite on toast. Or chocolate spread, but I guess my favourite has to be fried mushrooms, drizzled in melted Brie. Deee-licious!           

Image by adactio via Flickr

 

3.Do you pick out your outfit the night before?

Nah, that’d be way too much like organisation. And who knows what the weather’ll be like? Or what  kind of mood I’ll be in? I might be in a Slobbing-Around-In-Pyjamas-All-Day mood, and then I’ll have wasted all that effort of pre-selecting an oufit! Ye Gods! Preserve energy, that’s my motto!

Image by another sergio via Flickr

  

 4. What food item do you absolutely detest?

Dried Parmesan cheese! Urrgghh! *makes gagging noises*  How can anyone eat that stuff? It smells like rancid, sweaty-sock, infected-penis vomit! *makes even more exaggerated gagging noises and rolls her eyes* 
Oh, and tuna, but only if I’m pregnant. And then, just one whiff of the stuff, and Beware! I’ll blow where I’m standing and barf for England!

Image via Wikipedia

 

5. Righty or lefty?

Well, I’m equally clumsy with both hands, but I’m right-handed if that’s what you wanted to know. Aren’t lefties supposed to be mathematically minded while righties are more creative? 

 Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all!

What Every Guy Wants for Valentine’s Day…

Image via Wikipedia

This is the post I so wish I’d written. When I read it on Ellen’s Guide to Bad Internet Dating, I peed myself, laughing! Hope you enjoy as much as I did!

I keep hearing ads on the radio for ‘what to get your guy for valentine’s day’.  They tout everything from sweaters to watches to romantic trips to whatever. 

Duh, it’s not that hard.  Sure, I don’t have a guy this Valentine’s Day (or for any Valentine’s Day in recent memory for that matter), but it doesn’t matter.  I know men.  I know what they like and what makes them happy (I just usually choose to do the opposite). 

It doesn’t have to be expensive, or cost a thing, for that matter.  It doesn’t have to be wrapped in a bow or gift wrapped in any  way at all.  It’s really no secret, but just because I’m a giver and want to help those of you that are stumped on what to get your guy for Valentine’s Day, I’m going to share my top secret, make-em-cry and be sooo nice to you the rest of the day present.

What does every man want for Valentine’s Day?  Regardless of age, height, weight, socioeconomic status, bank balance or anything else it’s plain and simple.  He wants a blow job.  Duh. 

I for one feel that those things need to be earned and not just handed out willy nilly.  Actually, to be perfectly honest, I’m not a huge fan.  Any wonder I’m single?

*note – this gift also works for Christmas, new years, birthdays, anniversaries, st. patrick’s day, kwanza, hannukah, president’s day or any random Tuesday (or monday, wednesday …. you get the idea) 

Ellen has as much luck dating as I do, and it’s never right! She’s funny, insightful and gorgeous! And she knows what every guy wants for Valentine’s Day! Could there be a more complete package?

Thanks, sweetie, for letting me steal your post. Happy Friday!